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How do you pursue? Confused...

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2011) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months. We've went out, but I've been seeing her about once a week since then. At first we both were planning things, but I was taking it slow, and really didn't mention that I was interested in her. I'm not sure what she was thinking. This is the first person in a few years that I really have feelings for, I've dated some between but nothing serious.

I'm not much into phone conversations so I usually texted her and periodically called her, and I believe it irritated her. A week or so ago I asked her for lunch, after not seeing her for two weeks, and I could tell she wasn't very happy. She stated the longest relationship she's had is 2 months ever, and that was 5 years ago. Also stated she dated several guys during the summer but wasn't any different than ours up to that point. At first I hadn't really any feelings for her, I am usually one that gains feelings after awhile, not usually at first. I've been burnt a few too many times. She states she didn't feel any chemistry, and she didn't feel like she needs to be around me alot. She has a lot of friends, 98% female, and really NO close guy friends, and obviously no long term relationships. I've had a few, longest being 4 years, and was engaged once.

I told her I wanted to see where it was going and that I was indeed interested, but fearful of being pushy. I've had a couple of 0-60 relationships, and Im staying FAR away from that.

In the last week I've attempted to call, and let her know I'm thinking of her, but it doesn't seem to help. I don't feel like I'm getting much from her, but every time I call she answers or calls back. She has made it clear she wants to be pursued, but is also extremely busy. She's scheduled things with friends instead of attempting for us to get together. She gives me a little increments of time here and there for a date, calls, etc.

How do you pursue someone if they are always busy or gone??

I'm really confused. She doesn't seem interested or at least very much, but always responds. She's about 6 years older than I, never married, no kids, Christian, and truely a wonderful person, I just can't get in the door. At first, she was open and we communicated better, but it feels like I'm walking a very thin road.

Is she interested? Is she testing me? What can I do to spurn more interest??

View related questions: christian, engaged, period, text

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