A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's the age old question really. I guess many people have come on here to ask for help regarding this but hi everyone. How do you mend a broken heart? My boyfriend of two years and I split last week and well... I'm really not coping well I guess. This was the first man that ever made me feel beautiful and loved. He made me feel special and like I was worth something. He made me believe in myself when I couldnt. He loved me for me.Now I feel more alone than I have in my whole entire life. I feel as though I've lost part of myself. I'm honestly at odds as to what to do. I've got no close friends where I am and I'm just finding this whole process really insanely hard. I just have no idea how to cope and it's ripping me apart.We broke up for many reasons and it had to be done so I need to keep telling myself that but this whole grieving process is just really fucking hard on me. I hate having my heart broken. And thats what it is, broken. Anyway, I guess my question is how do I make this easier on myself? Just to throw another spanner in the works I used to be a self harmer a couple of years ago and I'm afraid that I'll go back to it. I dont want to but I just dont know how to cope. Thank you in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responses, it's much appreciated.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): Most important thing is to not isolate yourself, stay around other people. Make new friends, keep yourself busy, pamper yourself (spa appointment, etc), focus on YOU, and that keeps the focus OFF HIM, as much as possible. Keep your mind and your body busy! Exercise puts endorphins in there that help to counteract negative feelings too. And if you don't have a pet, now is a PERFECT time to get one, to help you cope with the loneliness!
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 http://www.enotalone.com/article/2725.html
This article is several pages long, so click on the numbers at the bottom of each page.
There really isn't anything that is going to miraculously cure your broken heart. Break ups suck, they hurt and you have to go through the pain to get to the other side.
Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry, wallow around in your jammies for a bit and then tell yourself enough is enough, get dressed, get out of the house and start doing some things you enjoy.
You don't have a lot of friends near by, call a good friend that lives far and open up to them. Get closer to your parents. Bad break ups can tear the scabs off of old childhood wounds, get some healing from those parents who were responsible for those wounds, work it out with them, ask for their love and support because they do love you and know you best.
Give yourself time, and start a list of the things you liked about the relationship. Make a list of things you didn't like about the relationship. Make a list of the things you think that relationship provided for you and what your beliefs about those things are, then on the other side of the page, realistically analyze whether or not those things should actually come from you, outside of the relationship. Make a list of the things that you want to do or achieve in your life, make a plan to get those things.
Write a list of the qualities in your boyfriend that you really did not like, they are there, find them, make that list and post it on your mirror in your bathroom where you can see it.
Write a list of 50 things that you like about yourself or what others like about you. Paste that list on the same mirror.
You feel like you're going to die of that broken heart, but you aren't, feelings are transient and they sort of come on you like the waves of an ocean.
The longer you try to avoid your feelings of anger the longer you may be stuck. Work towards accepting that this relationship is over and it has moved you one step closer to the relationship that you really want and is best for you.....you do know that you will be in love again, it has happened before, it will happen again.
Don't give up on yourself or on love or on people. It is a gift to have the depth of character to be capable of love. Not everyone is, remember that.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Find a hobby that you would quite like to do, learn to play an instrument, or even a new language. It's a great way to meet and make new friends and you'll be doing something that you actually want to to.
My heart is broken right now, i've just started a part time college course, so that will keep me busy.
It sucks to have a broken heart, mine has been broken for 3 months now. I'm sure it will become easier once you have something to focus on
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