A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I am 26 and have been married for 7 years, I have a great husband and recently i had been reading a lot about masturbating, I had never really wanted to try it because i do like sex but i had never had an orgasm.Well, about 3 months ago i decided to try and after about 5 minutes or so of clitoral stimulation i felt this crazy intense tingle working its way up from my bottom to my vagina and i liked it so needless to say i can't stop.My question is, is this an orgasm? and moreover if its that easy to achieve on my own why can't i achieve one with my husband ever? Thank you so much
View related questions:
orgasm, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 You need to know how to get one on your own if you are ever going to teach your husband how to give you one. Maybe your husband is just as uninformed about the matter as you were until recently?
And may I add, getting an orgasm is not easy for most women. If you thought it was easy you are one of the lucky few. And, for many women is it completely different to have an orgasm on their own, and having one with their partner. It takes work and practice. But you are on the right path.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (16 September 2010):
Hi there. Yes, what you describe is an orgasm. It is a lot of tingly feelings exactly what you describe.
Orgasms can vary from mild to very intense, depending on the mood you're in at the time. Also the time of the month (for instance around ovulation). It can also vary if you are not really in the mood, are tired, unwell, or have had an argument with your husband. These all affect you getting into the mood for sex.
The reason you don't have an orgasm during sex with your husband, is simply a case of there's probably no stimulation of your clitoris either before sex or during.
Perhaps your husband doesn't stimulate your clitoris enough during foreplay. This is usually the reason for orgasm not happening. The clitoris is a key nerve centre to make it all build to the point of orgasm.
The nerves of the clitoris run down the sides of the vulva (or lips) right down towards the vagina. So all along the inside of the lips (left side and right), has two large nerves - one on either side - running close to the surface of the tissue. They feel a bit like two large veins or muscles. This part is also quite sensitive with enough stimulation, and will also help orgasm to to achieved.
If you try masturbating, you will get to know your own body better and what feels good and what doesn't. I'm quite sure that masturbation will never take the place of making love with your husband. You don't need to have any fear of that. As nice as an orgasm from masturbation feels, it doesn't have the special feeling of two warm bodies together and being so close. It does lack that.
What the masturbation will help you to do, is to guide your husband in future and let him know what you like. Don't be afraid to let him know also, when something feels uncomfortable or even painful. It's all about pleasure, love and happiness.
In time and with experience, you will be able to put that experience into helping you to achieve orgasm during sex. This is a lovely feeling. Don't worry yourself about it, it will happen. All in good time. Don't get anxious and try to push it to happen during making love, because if you do, you will short circuit all those pleasurable feelings - by being distracted. They start off by tiny little tingles, barely noticeable, but they build and build - eventually, to the point of actual orgasm.
So don't think that because they are only mild, that they are nothing. Not true. All orgasms begin from very mild feelings, that first feel pleasant then over time, become stronger and stronger. During making love, don't be distracted by household chores, bills, mortgages, kids etc. Just live in the moment, with complete awareness then you won't "miss" what's happening with your body.
And don't worry if once you start having orgasms during sex, if you don't have one each time. Sometimes it doesn't happen every time. Sometimes they are mild and fleeting, other times very intense, and everything in between. The main important thing to do, is to keep your mind focussed on exactly every little tiny feeling you experience and just enjoy them all. And don't forget to have fun. It should be fun.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Yes, it is really easy to achieve and you don't need more than your imagination and your hand....
...............................
|
