A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi any women reading this. Say you have a really lovely guy friend that you are close to. You don't feel sexually attracted to him. 1. How would he have to be so that you wouldn't object to having sex with him (physically, mentally, emotionally)? 2. How would he have to be for you to MADLY want him?I'm not looking for any sugarcoated answers!Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 If there's no attraction there, no spark then you can't force it. I'm sorry but if she doesn't feel that way for you then accept her friendship and focus your attentions on finding a girl that you do have a spark with.
A
female
reader, melody11 +, writes (4 February 2011):
Honestly, when I was in college, I had a lot of guy friends. Being 5'7, blonde and outgoing, just about every one of those guys expressed interest in me and I remained single until my last 3 months and dated a guy from another school. I found that most of the guys who propositioned themselves to me I preferred in the friend-zone. My make or break points in whether or not i found myself attracted to them with them were:1. Hygiene: you've gotta have good breath, never smell, and a clean face. If you look and smell like you haven't been near a faucet in a week, I definitely don't want to be in close proximity to you. A great cologne could help to. Just as long as it doesn't smell like a grandpa. Go for a popular one like any by Davidoff, Armani, Issai Miyaki (sp?)2. Don't come on to strong! I was talking to my boyfriend today about all the "creepers" who would hold me too long when they'd say hello, lick their lips and eye me, and outright tell me they want to have sex with me. Unless I was drunk at a party, I'm not flattered let alone going to find them appealing. 3. Do not use the L word. L word is creepy unless in a relationship, as much as the movies tell you it's romantic. Girls gossip and one of the big no-nos we talk about is "he said he loved me! What am I supposed to say?" because it's nit I love you back. 4. Personality: yes, it's obvious, but personality shows in other ways. Think before you act in front of her. If you know her well enough, try to act as you think shed want you to act. (yes, it's skeevy of you, but you are manipulating a situation right!). And clothing! Personality from afar is all in your attitude and your style. Buy a new shirt that's cutting edge or trendy for whatever scene she's of. Put effort into your look so that you look casual, unique, and someone worthwhile. Try to flatter your body. If she's quirky, you may think your Star Wars shirt will attract her and be a conversational piece, so wear it underneath a trendy button down shirt, or just save that for the first sleepover, haha.Additionally what always drove me crazy with guys was when they were aloof. Yes, guys are all about the chase, but most girls enjoy some kind of chase too. Express interest in other things besides her. Express features you find attractive on real life girls (not celebrities) see how she reacts. If she gets hyper defensive or shoots you down, most likely you struck a nerve. I've fallen prey to that and questioned my attraction to guy friends but because of my preliminary points, I shot it down. Other times, when guy friends of mine whom I was attracted to were interested in other girls I was motivated to act on my attraction. That's actually how my current boyfriend got me. I told him that I would not date him or anytime in the near future, but he knew how to say the right things. He blew me off after I turned him down so many times and it drove me crazy. I had to see him that night. Now we're engaged and getting married in a year. Good luck! Let us know what happened!
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