A
female
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anonymous
writes:How do you know when a guy is being genuine? How do you know when he is truly nice? How do you know when a guy isn't being fake??? I've just met a guy who I'm dating and Im worried although I think hes a pretty good guy, that I may just be to blind to see the truth.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Follow the gut. I can't answer that for you. There are guys you can tell right off are not what they say they are, and there are those who have been deceiving for so long, it's harder to tell. I can tell you this which may help sort things out and point you in a good direction.
Know the person you get together with. You do that by predetermining what it is you are looking for in a partner, what qualities do they have, their personality, etc. then look for those possessing those qualities. Just because they look good, doesn't meant they are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut what if you are a overly paranoid person whose 'instincts' always assumes the worst? then you could miss out on some great opportunities. i dont think my instincts are very reliable. however my gut told me in my past relationship to leave but i never did, until it got REALLY bad. i thought i was just being paranoid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Trust your heart, listen to your instincts. If your questioning how he is than you must have reasons
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): If everything about him seems to indicate one kind of person (liar, player, abusive, etc), but you are left thinking that YOU might be the girl that he'd be able to be different/better with . . . That's the con.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Intuition, and if he keeps his word, isn't late, is thoughtful and you don't catch him in lies. Or if you hear things about him from other people (bad things) I'd be weary too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I guess that the easiest way to know if a guy is genuine is if he keeps his word. And if his story's add up and are consistent. Have you caught him in a lie? Or has he said he would do something and didn't follow through?? Like he said he would call and then didn't?? Or stood you up?? I mean if he is consistent then I guess he is being genuine so far.
If for whatever reason, even though he has been consistent, you still have a gut feeling about him, then be careful. Trust your instinct.
Don't let yourself be "blinded." Blinding yourself is a CHOICE. If you are blinding yourself of this guy's true colors, that is a choice that you are consciously making. So you can also choose to read between the lines and see him for who he really is. I mean it is something that you can control so why not control it? So if you have suspicions or something doesn't add up, and it's bugging you, stop fooling yourself. Clearly something about him makes you uneasy. You should put yourself and your feelings first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): You will never know 100% but most guys are good, despite what you hear.
Take time to get to know him, take in the way he reacts in different situations and always listen to what the people around you tell you. They are the ones with your best interests at heart.
Keep it light hearted, stay in control,Have fun and be careful
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