A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you "know" when you have ruined a friendship?I have a best friend that I care about so much that he means the sun and moon to be, but recently I said some things to him that were rash, impulsive, and selfish, and I know that I hurt him. I regret it so much. He says that he still cares about me, and I trust him, but I'm overcome with guilt and don't know how he can find it in his heart to forgive me. I can't sleep at night because I feel so terrible, and I'm so angry with myself. If you can help me, thank you. If it's not the answer I want... I'll be grateful to be helped, but please don't judge me, though. I already hate myself so much, because I'm such an idiot sometimes.
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female
reader, charm5 +, writes (29 November 2008):
Hi
I was in a similar position but with my best friend..We grew closer and things got complicated and yet we ignored what was really going on.We never really clarified things..I hurt her feelings by asking where our frienship really stood and all I wanted to know was that I matter to her as much as her to me..She said was too emotional for her to handle and she wont talk to me yet she said was ok for me to write to her and send things..Every 2 wks or once a month I send a card, letter or flowers.Still she is not ready to speak w me but deep in my heart I know she still cares..I wont give up because what I asked was not ofensive yet i have apologized.I hope he can see pass all and see that you are so sorry and let the frienship continue and as time goes by be stronger.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Thanks for your advice... it was kind of you to write back.
He is a real friend, because he sees past all of the things I hate myself for. I was angry about some things in my life, and taking it out on him, but it was selfish and so wrong... I've been a real witch to him.
I'll do what you said, and talk to him :)
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (28 November 2008):
Thanks for your advice... it was kind of you to write back.
He is a real friend, because he sees past all of the things I hate myself for. I was angry about some things in my life, and taking it out on him, but it was selfish and so wrong... I've been a real witch to him.
I'll do what you said, and talk to him :)
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A
female
reader, xxaziexx  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 people say things they don't mean, and usually its to the ones that mean most :( so don't beat yourself up about it as you only human:. i think you should have a good talk with him, explain your sorry and you didnt mean any of those things and would never want to hurt him. im sure he'll forgive you. maybe you could do a surise night:) dvd's, munchies, music etc treat him :)good luck im sure youll work things out
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A
male
reader, Myprince  +, writes (26 November 2008):
It's inevitable once in a while that friends we fall out.... or have their differences. I understand the distress that it's causing you. We all go through that patch with friends. But I'm glad that you do admit that you still care about him and want to make things right.
I agree with 'hotpinkgirl' and 'Teacake'. The only way you can resolve this is by sitting down & talking to him about it. Just be sincere about how you feel about the incident. True friendship will survive and forgive....
All the best with your friendship.
Kind regards
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (26 November 2008):
 Everyone makes tragic mistakes more often then they can bear. A strong friendship will survive but will take a little time to heal.
Just tell him how horrible you feel and how much he means to you. Try to figure out why you said what you said and tell him that... insecurity? some other sort of fear? Misguided anger for what????
Sometimes falling outs can be mended quickly, others take some time. I've have several of those in my life and all the people who are real friends accepted me back after a while. And the same on my side as well.
Good luck!
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