A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 3 years know. How do you know when you got married for the wrong reason and with the wrong person?I have been dating my wife for 4 years before we got married. She is very loving person. But her family has a big impact on our life. Even if she denies it. About a year back a met this person. Let me just say I did not ask for it or wish for it, it just happened. We started of as very good friends. We enjoyed each others company had good times as friends. Then we started to get more feelings for each other.But let me just say at that time I was not happy in my married. Me and this friend have this click. We can talk about any thing, have fun at any place and we have good time with each other. She supports me in the bad times she is there for me.Know this is where is gets me confused. We have tried 6 times to stay away from each other because I am still married. Still we got back on contact. I even change jobs she also. Once again we ended up working 4 blocks away from each other. She even took a job in another town. That job even fallen flat know she is back again. I am going crazy here. I do not want to wake up in 20 years from know and see that I am still unhappy. I know marriage is not easy. I do believe it is easier with the correct partner.I just want to know is this friend just detraction or is there a reason she keep popping back in to my life?Let put it this way any advise will help! I want to be happy again if any one have questions please ask I will respond!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): were you unhappy in your marriage before you met this friend? Did you try to improve your marriage?was it only after you met this friend then you started to think you married the wrong person for the wrong reason?If your friend were to disappear completely today or if be forever unavailable, would you stay with your wife?when you chose to marry your wife, you made a vow to stay married to her. Thus, only the most extreme of circumstances should be a valid reason to break this vow.If you can honestly say your marriage is so horrible that you would prefer to be alone than to be your wife, then you should leave your wife. If your marriage is very very bad and driving you nuts, and you have tried and tried but can't make it better, only then is it OK to leave your wife.If you're simply wanting something better but feel OK and able to stay in your marriage if that something better isn't available or didn't come along, then this is not an honorable reason to leave. Since in this situation your marriage is obviously not that bad, it's just that you want something more, you should honor your marriage vow and keep your commitment because once you get married you have made a vow to stay with that person it shouldn't be broken lightly.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Hi
I think the first question you ask has your answer , just because you ask it.
I think the only answer is to be TRUE to YOURSELF first...and with the truth comes the answer.
Remember that even if it turned out that you want to split with your wife...yes she will hurt but far better than finding out 50 years down the line that your love was all untrue....this deny's her the chance of finding true love.
Life is too short for living lies...although i am sure you love and care for your wife in your way, as long as you secretly desire another woman in a big way....it's unfair.
Remember WHY you married your wife....have you forgotten...was it TRUE...? if so then don't make a mistake simply through forget-fullness.
Happy new year.
hope all goes well for all.
spunky monkey :)
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