A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Every now and again I still miss my ex, I love her which I hate to admit but I dont want her back. I feel like its having a child who just made you so angry but you still cant help loving them. I am in a new relationship and love my gf, just gone past 5 years now. I feel like Ive brought baggage into the relationship which I stayed single for a few years to help myself heal. I wonder if i didnt give myself enough time.I often question if Im doing the right thing by my new gf as shes awesome, for the most part haha. Did I give myself enough time to heal, am I doing the right thing and is this even normal to for someone to have such a pull on you even without contact?
View related questions:
miss my ex, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 November 2016):
 you are with someone now for five years and you are still thinking off an ex?! Really? Gosh that is a long time and must be simply horrendous to be thinking off someone all this time. You said you stayed single a few years but you are not sure you gave yourself long enough. Well I think you did, I think you just have a case of the grass is always greener. What do you miss about your ex? What did she have that is so special? Did she dump you?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2016): Just to continue I think you should acknowledge your mistakes and resolve not to repeat them.If you drink too much then learn to sober up a bit.If you put your feelings ahead of your partners then remind yourself to pay considerably more attention to what your partner does or doesnt want.If someone long gone still has a hold on you then its because part of a valuable lesson wasnt learnt.If you abused their trust , then you must reconcile yourself to never allowing yourself to take advantage of an innocent person again.A relationship with a woman is not comparable to a child and this maybe where you are going wrong.A child is utterly dependant for their basic needs of survival on the adult.A woman is on the same level as yourself and she has inherent choice regarding what she does or doesnt want or like.It might help you to figure out how you managed to confuse two separate issues and seek counselling if you are unable to seethat it is unhealthy to confuse these issues.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2016): Yes its normal. Especially when you know that your ex was more than unique in every way.But thats life for you.This wonderful person was part of your life and now, looking backwards you know that she really had a charisma that makes yours pale.But you have to remember that she has moved on with her life and will be surrounded by a new set of star struck admirers.You are starting to wonder if she was the person with all the inner strength in the relationship and you feel that you are lacking because you rebounded so fast or prior to ending things with her.Your ex is now on another level and will not want to reengage and your new partner will become aware that your feelings havent developed any depth soshe might want to cut out too.But you can learn to be the better person from this.Even if your current relationship flounders further , take heart that you can be the better person by practising honesty towards yourself and your partner and loyalty and be prepared to understand how to develop yourself.Lessons in love are rife with mistakes.Just take a look at celebrity love lives that evaporate so rapidly and try to develop the skills you need to maintain a lasting relationship with your current partner but dont look back because the bird has flown the coop and wont be returning!Cutting out the sarcasm might help!
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (25 November 2016):
 Take off the rose-tinted spectacles and remind yourself of all the infuriating, humiliating, frustrating things that told you it would never work.
It is a mistake to look back, and an even bigger one to try and go back. You will find all the same old crap just where you left it when you walked away.
...............................
|
