A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello people,How do you know if a man is stingy? I mean i had a date with a man i met on line. I prepared myself very well and wore the best i have. But i was shocked when i found out what he wore, he wore daddy jeans or baggy jeans a terrible sweater and a white unironed vest inside and trainers i even noted that his mobile was very cheap first the date was supposed to be dinner but he changed it to tea. I was touching the menu he asked me if want something i said No. At last he paid the bill for his tea and my drink. He is 44 and single and he gave me his mobile to call him before we met.Please tell me do you thing he is stingy thats why is single
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Outward appearances can be deceptive. Some rich people do dress in that way .
Many rich people are rich because they are stingy and are great savers.
He is probably looking for someone who can accept him as who he is and do not care about impressing other people.
His appearances would weed out those who are not genuine .
First impressions can be wrong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): I think he is stingy , and does not give a crap about how he looks for u ? and that means he probably will not give a crap about what you want , and what is likely to make u happy in a relationship !But i also do think you should give him another chance, and go out with him again .
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (2 February 2010):
My boyfriend is a millionaire but he uses an old Nokia with a faded keypad that doesn't even have email or MMS. His phone is a non issue; people with fancy phones are probably in debt buying them for the next 2 years. But I am inclined to agree that he should have made more of an effort with his appearance. There is nothing superficial about first impressions; its the most natural thing to do. If I went on a first date with a guy looking finished like he did, it would be an issue. I think if he didn't impress you then drop him. Because if he had been funny and interesting then you would probably not have cared too much about his unkempt appearance. Update your profile and get another date with someone who actually makes an effort.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): One date does not do justice to either him or you. Your query makes you look superficial and materialistic. You are not ready for a relationship with someone who is looking for a relationship of two people.
Did you notice you didn't mention what he discussed with you?
Ideas are worth more than appearances.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Well, that is what first dates are for. A look see. Apparently he isn't up to your standard. At 44 he probably in not into high tech phones. The only reason I have a data plan is that my daughters text me and I find it easier to reply with a qwerty keypad. I'm more concerned that he didn't seem to prepare for the date. Makes it look like he is frightened, or insincere, or something. It just doesn't add up.
Everyone has their own expectations. It would have been smarter for him to have found out what you expected. It sounds like he is not a good shopper and dresses for comfort. An easy trap for older single guys.
I usually get nervous when a guy is throwing money around. Seen too many cheaters who do that. Nice clothes flashy cars, shallow minds, no morals.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): My instinctive response to this is that you need to get over these superficial feelings of yours. For crying out loud, his mobile looked cheap? Who cares? What do you use a mobile phone for? To talk on or maybe text people. You don't need some $500 mobile phone. If you are going to base your relationship over what kind of phone the guy has, then perhaps he is not for you.As far as what he wore, it doesn't really sound like there was anything wrong with it, just that you didn't like it. Everyone has different opinions about style, perhaps he is one of those people.Further, what's wrong with tea? Frankly, I would much rather go out for tea of coffee than a dinner. It is far less formal and inviting for conversation. Even better, a cup of tea will go quicker than a dinner, so if things are not going well you can easily finish your tea and be on your way.Lastly, perhaps he does all this to keep people away from him who only care about appearances. As to why he is single, perhaps he just has not found the right person to spend the rest of his life with.But seriously...his mobile phone?!?! I have not heard that as a reason for not pursuing anyone before, that one is going in the books.
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