A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were together over a year,. And broke up 2 weeks ago. We spent 8 months face to face, and nearly a year apart. He told me the distance was a big factor, but that he also felt 'unsure' about our compatability and wanted to think. I told him if he felt unsure about me, I didn't want him. We've been NC since.I can't help but have an inkling of hope that things will get better. I don't know why, other than my job was going to move me closer to him in about 5 months. How do you kill this hope so you can move forward?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you.
After I realized that, something inside me changed. I've blocked his number, email and social media.
If there's anything else I'm missing as far as his motives, I'm sure it will surface in time. If I still care to know by then.
I'm still disappointed but it gives me motivation to hit the gym and make myself better.
Thank you for your help
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
 There you go, OP
Working through it :) Yes, being angry (for a little while is OK too) So is being disappointed, sad, etc. Just don't wallow in it. You and he weren't meant to be. You can't know that when you first meet. We find that out over time.
You will undoubtedly meet other people (whether you move for work or not) and at some point a guy will catch your eye. Life DO go on.
BUT, take your time getting over this one. There is no hurry in replacing him. Use this time to tweak your standards for guys and relationships. Take this as a lesson, not a "defeat".
Chin up and Happy New Year.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses.
Honestly, these days, the more I think about it, the angrier I feel about him. I do think he's probably talking to someone else as he had difficulty being single. He told me that. In which case,. It makes sense that this came out the blue because he's been holding it in and just wants a reason to explore it without feeling guilty. Hence the out the blue argument with out the blue excuses.
Why would I want to reconcile with a guy like that? That was cowardly.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (1 January 2018):
For a long distance relationship to try and work,takes extra love and understanding on both sides.This is not the situation with you...You are the person that cares the most,and he is just talking about not being sure of his feelings for you and the distance involved.Would you consider just Focusing on You,you make new friends,your job and starting a fresh.Stay friends with this guy,give him all the time and space he needs with no pressure coming from you.If he wants to make a go of it...let him be the one to come and ask you....and then see hoe you feel and make a decision that will include your feelings as well.It would not be wise to put your life on ..Hold for this guy.Kind wishes.NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 December 2017):
You don't.
Feelings are not something we can just shut off. They are something you use to work THROUGH a break up.
Going NC, I think, is a good start, for both of you.
Keep busy. That is my best advice. With work, friends and family. If you STILL move for work in 5 months, you will have to work on adjusting to a new place, meeting new people and hopefully your ex-BF will not be so much on your mind.
You are hoping because you CARE about him, and because you didn't entirely agree that it wasn't working. And I don't blame you for that. However, you might also consider that HE has been meeting new people this last year and maybe even met some that he found attractive and wanted to get know better. So instead of cheating he broke up with you so he, as a single man, can pursue someone else.
LDR's can work, but it is the minority of couples that are successful. Most of them turn into a more like friends with occasional "beneficial" visits. If there is NO concrete plan to be in the same geographical location it can be hard to treat it as a "real" relationship and make it work. Relationships where you are NOT long distance takes work, LDR's even more.
For now, OP FOCUS on you.
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