A
male
age
30-35,
*ComplicatedGuy123
writes:Conversations, How do you keep conversations in relationships going, I always found it hard to i mean you are always texting, calling, being around your spouse i dont understand how you keep finding conversations or ways to keep things fun and not boring cause i always seem to run out of things to say and the mood gets awkward and boring and i hate it and maybe its cause im a boring and awkward person in general is there any way to fix it or advice on how to alwyas have things to say or can someone explain to me how people who last so long always have things to tell each other
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male
reader, AComplicatedGuy123 +, writes (24 October 2011):
AComplicatedGuy123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThese are great answers guys! I am going to take everything you all said into consideration and figure out how to put it together and make it work for me. Not changing myself but i guess find a way to enjoy and have things done naturally. Thanks so much really appreciate it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Me and my boyfriend been together 6 years and we always talk,never run out of things to say,it's strange haha but with others I don't say much! Think you just got to be comfortable with the other person! For me and my bf we don't worry about what we going to say,it just comes out naturally! Don't even think about what u going to say just say anything.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 You don't always have something to say or talk about. Saying things just for the sake of saying them shows insecurity and will be "fake" and awkward. If you're not a naturally bubbly and talkative person then it's ok. You can still have a great long lasting relationship even if you don't talk your partners ears off. Being silent with each other in a relationship is perfectly acceptable too. Often it can be a great thing to just enjoy each others company, without the constant talking. Like do something together instead, take a walk, watch a movie, play miniature golf, hiking, climbing, working out together, doing other activities, or just play cards or another game. You don't always have to talk. Just sitting and watching tv is cool too.
Look at your own family, it's no different. You don't always talk or communicate with your family, there's not always something that needs to be said. Yet you are still a family together, and you stick together whether you feel bored with each other one day or having fun the next.
People in long term relationships also need to have separate lives and separate hobbies, separate work etc. otherwise they'd never have anything to talk about at all.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Well, it helps to separate your ideas into their own sentences.
Joking aside, I understand where you're coming from. It's not so much that I run out of things to say as that what I like to talk about is often boring to women. I enjoy arguing politics (I'm a libertarian, so 90% of the population disagrees with me about something), pretentiously discussing philosophy and psychology (pop evopsych in particular), gushing over the latest achievements in science and engineering (lately they've been releasing pictures of a planet in the process of forming), and discussing books (can't wait for the last Wheel of Time book to come out). The vast majority of chicks just do not care about that stuff, and even if they do, they hardly find it attractive. If you also leave out complaining about work, that's a huge percentage of the things I have to talk about which I often can't except in moderation. So, I sympathize, but you can fix it.
First, learn to enjoy quiet and silences. Not every moment has to be spent talking. Just enjoy being in each others' presence.
Second, stop texting. Save what you have to say for saying in person, when you can discuss something in depth. Think about it: if you text him about a disagreement with a coworker, and he texts back his sympathies, that's it. Ten or twelve sentences total on the subject, so you can't bring it up later without sounding weird, yet you haven't really gotten the emotional release of it. Save it for talking in person, when he can interrupt for comments, or you can take the time to fully explain your thoughts and feelings.
Third, stop thinking of yourself as boring. I wrote a whole paragraph on things I like that many people find boring, but I don't think of myself as a boring person, because I'm not. I just appreciate things that other people don't, and don't appreciate things that other people do (chicks think it's weird that I don't care about the NFL, for instance, but there it is). You can get a lot of mileage out of a few good stories if you're good at telling them, or at least passionate about them. Worst case scenario: you and a guy can trade stories you don't care about, learn something about each other, then find something else to talk about next time.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 October 2011):
 You make sure you have hobbies and interests to talk about. When my boyfriend and I were living together in college we spent 22 hours of the day together and still always found ways to amuse each other. He liked to look up history on wikipedia and tell me about it, I researched feminism and talked to him about it. You can also share music with each other. Go for walks. Watch movies. Take up a hobby and tell him about it. But at the end of the day if the chemistry to make you find the interesting isn't there, you won't be able to force it.
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