A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a single parent and I need advice on how to juggle dating and parenting. It's funny because you have your parents/family, etc, encouraging you to "meet someone and settle down." Well I met someone. Things didn't work and now I have a child that I care for alone. Besides my child's father doing a half-assed job of pretending to care about our child, his continued (perceived) ides that he still has some sort of "ownership" over me and my body, I also have my mother constantly reminding me that my child is my life and forget about dating or getting married. I understand that. Nothing comes before my child. BUT, lately I've been having these feelings. I have needs. It's been a very long time. I have been speaking with a man for a few months and I'd like to start dating him, but I don't know how to begin to even do that. And I have this guilty feeling, like I shouldn't be doing this because all my time should be spent on my child. I need advice on how to get over this guilt. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 June 2015):
 I think you CAN do both.
I'm sorry your mom seems to think that YOU having a child means YOUR life is over. I don't think it is. Maybe what she really means is, she doesn't WANT you to get hurt by another man again. In her logic if you don't date, you can't get hurt. That is true, but also kind of sad.
If the guy KNOWS you have a child, he will understand that you can't be available at a moments notice and that you sometimes must cancel as babysitters can fail etc.
I'd keep the dates OUT of your home for now. And I'd be DARNED sure you BOTH see a future with each other (I'd say a good minimum of 9-12 months) before introducing child to new partner.
How do you get over the guilt? BY accepting that having a child doesn't make you superhuman or void of needs and feelings. A CHILD can NOT fill the void of a partner. NOT should they.
DO this for YOU. Bu go slow, use protection (both I'd say - pill/condom) and be careful. Last thing you need is another child with another man.
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