A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you invite a guy to come over yours without them thinking you'll sleep together? This guy I like and we've been seeing each other for a while now, but i still don't want to sleep with him yet till i'm comfortable and sure i'm ready. Thing is, it'd be nice for him to come over mine and hang out, watch a film or whatever. But because i'm in halls and at uni, a guy coming over yours for the evening, or even suggesting watch a film always implies something sexual will happen. The last guy i invited over before said i gave him false hope by doing this. All i said was 'did you want to come round mine and hang out'. To which he must of heard 'did you want to come over and have sex'. I don't want to say to the guy i'm seeing come round but not for sex, because i don't want him to be offended that i think that's all his about and it's weird to say. I know he isn't like that, but still... it'd just be nice if we could hang out at mine one evening, instead of always feeling we have to be out in public so nothing happens. We've gotten really intimate before, so i'm not worried if something does i just don't want to sleep with him yet.So i just want to know guys, how can i ask him round in a suitable way? Or am i too naive that i can't just hang out with him and him not expect anything will happen.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (6 November 2012):
 Make sure he knows your parents will be there. Invite him over for game night, or movie night or tell him your Mom makes a killer plate of spaghetti and ask him to join the family for dinner. That way he knows going in that this will not be a private night where he might get lucky. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): "How do you invite a guy to come over yours without them thinking you'll sleep together?"
You don't, what's the point in going to your room to be alone, with your bed there if we're not going to get intimate? You don't know guys if you don't think we see that as anything other than an opportunity to make moves. We don't go around to yours just so we can watch some Jennifer Aniston shitty rom com and discuss the virtues of a single currency in the European Union.
Just ask him around, you are okay with fooling around and are going to just don't go all the way. It's no big deal. Just don't be offended if he tries it on as long as he's respectful enough to take no for answer. If he's not then he's not a guy you want to continue seeing, so it's all good.
Seriously though OP, you can tattoo "we're not going to have sex" on your forehead, we still won't believe you. You're inviting us over to your most intimate place to cuddle up and get cozey, we're at least going to try it on, and guess what you'd probably be a bit miffed if we didn't.
Don't worry about assumptions or preconceptions OP, it's not a big deal for you to not put out, it doesn't matter what you say either because quite frankly if we guys didn't make moves every time a girl said it's not going to happen most of us wouldn't get laid because frankly, and I'm not saying you do this, but a hell of a lot of you say that just so we'll try harder. When I was your age and I actually women at their word and didn't try it on because they said it's not going to happen, they actually got disappointed and I even had my sexuality questioned like I was gay for not trying anyway.
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