A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do you get someone to realize a relationship is over and start taking healthy steps to put their life back together. My ex is still severely depressed. He won't go out and socialize, meet new people or do anything to create a support system since our break up. It's been a year-and-a-half and he's made no progress to move on. I've tried to talk to him and encourage him to take some classes at our local college, or join a social group at church so he will meet other people going through the same thing in life, but he refuses. He says he comes home from work every day and climbs into bed and cries. He's starting to look haggard and worn out and I'm worried that he's going to just "end it all" because he's not coping with the break up. I don't know what to do!
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depressed, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 As long as you keep showing him attention for his bad behavior, he will continue this bad behavior.
Contact his friends and family. Let them know what is going on, and that he is making you think he is suicidal...then cut ALL contact with him.
This is turning into emotional manipulation.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 August 2007):
 When someone has been 'grieving' for this long they really need to go to their doctor.
Its normal to go through different stages after a break up. Its all part of the healing process. But this is too long.
Counselling, if that doesnt work then a trip to the doctors. But i personally think the counselling would be the best option.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, bemused +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Hi hun
You are obviously a caring ex as you are keeping an eye out for this man. There are many posts on this site by people who feel ignored and abandoned by their exes so this guy is not dealing with that...but...could it be he has not moved on because you are monitering him and might that be giving him hope that you may be coming back. Why after a year and a half are you still in touch to this extent? Could be that your ex is in a vicious circle..the breakup caused the depression and the depression is keeping him from getting on with his life. Obviously you were his support system....he had no other. You need to recognize that you cannot fix this for him...you cannot rescue him. You tell him that you have mentioned all the steps that he needs to make his life better. He has not yet made them and this is making difficult for YOU to move on ...remember you. I know you still care hun but you need to step back and let him find his way. It seems to me that there is unfinished business in this relationship...have you moved on?? Let him find his way through the maze dear as you need to look out for yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): Sorry but i think your the problem,,PEOPLE can not "stay friends" after a break up. Especially when one still loves the other, in my opinion, By you being there for him, there is still hope you will return, you need to give this guy his freedom. Let his family and friends help him through this NOT YOU. You are the one who caused it,, yu can't be the one to fix it
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