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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you get someone out of your head? I should not be thinking about a married man the way I do. It's a guy I have been friends with for about 10 years - from our early teen years. He's recently married and has a baby on the way. I always kind of had a crush on him - but never really did anything about it. I don't know if he's just having second thoughts about where his life is right now but he's been calling and texting me. We mostly just joke around - A LOT of flirting but nothing more than that. Although, he did try to kiss me - but I turned him down (I really did! lol). I know it's wrong but now I can't stop thinking about him! Every time my phone goes off I'm hoping it's him - which is stupid. I don't know. I guess the question is how do you get someone out of your head - especially when you KNOW they shouldn't be there in the first place!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): Forget Him and Cut your communication with him. Eliminate him on your mind. Find new things that most interest to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): im seening a old friend that is marry for 30 years we both said we were not going to fall for each other and we were always say the truth to each other but im fall for him a little. he told me when he is with me he is heavely and i ask him you are not fall right and he said i wont fall Do you think he is falling he call me tex me every day we see each othe abot 3 times a week and his eyes shine when he see me and grt real happy he told me after a month he was getting butter flyes were together for 4 month
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only reason I got "uppity" and defensive is because everyone is assuming I'm trying to get with this guy- when I'm not. Anyway its a non-issue now it was a harmless crush which is passing, he's still my friend, just like he has been forever. Maybe I was a 3rd party in his marriage, but I dont really see it that way, when he wasn't texting me he was texting someone else only those girls meet up with him and such I never did. He's the "cowboy casanova" type if you've heard the song lol. Not that that justifies anything- I'm just saying he doesn't care about his marriage so don't try to make ME look like the only one doing something wrong here. And don't feel sorry for his wife either, she's the same way - you don't know these people, I do. They both have things they need to work on. BUT thats not my problem its theirs- thanks anyway guys.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): instead of YOU getting all uppity and moral just acknowledge your "role". you have had desgns on him. sex in not the issue here, whether you want to f8ck him or not, but you have been a 3rd factor in his marriage. you have become emotionally dependant on him. well, STOP SPENDING TIME WITH HIM.He even said "Man, we have bad timing - guess I should get a divorce now!" instead of playing around with him and destracting him from his priorities (wife and kids) focus on finding a single man that you crave.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not interfering in his life if I have done nothing wrong. The only thing I'm asking is how do I get him out of my head... not.. "how do I make him leave his wife?" or "how do I tell if he loves me?" or "how do I get a married man to fall in love with me?" I know your thinking that being blunt and honest is the only thing that will help some silly little "homewrecker" like me, but you've made all the wrong assumptions. I'm not fucking him, I never have, I never will. If I were that desperate I wouldn't have turned him down when he tried to kiss me. Read my question before you get all high and mighty on yourself. I like the guy, I'm not in love with him, I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I just think about him a lot. Kind of like girls that obsess over a hollywood crush, you know - someone you know you won't ever have - I simply asked how I can get him out of my head.
But to everyone else... I figured out what the deal was. I was in a relationship for so long now that I'm out I was just scared to meet new people. I've known this guy for a while so it was like "safe ground" someone I could talk to who already knew me and who I already knew - meeting new people can be scary! Especially when your not used to it, or haven't done it in a long time. I've stopped the daydreaming part - I think that was the best advice I could get lol and surprisingly that has helped a lot in just a few days. Time for me to meet NEW people, thanks again!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): "........I was in a relationship that was really bad and came out of it a single mom ......' then you know what it is like bringing a kid up on your own. don't do this to his wife then."...If they split up, they split up....." what nonsense. he is recently married and has a kid on its way. stop interfering in his life. yes, you want them to split up to help yourself to this MM, but please, just because you were left holding the baby doesn't make it right for you to wish this on his wife. stop being available to him. if you say you have a conscious well now and in the future show that it actually exists. there are plenty of single men, please go find yourself one and please stay away from this MM. he is not yours and stop giving him the come on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. Here's a little more insight into the situation - we have known each other for about 10 years, like I said - but for the past 7 years I was in a relationship that was really bad and came out of it a single mom with no help from my sons dad. He met his wife about 2 years ago. We didn't talk much during all of that as I lived in another city - we'd chat online occasionally - always flirting when we did talk once in a blue moon - but now that I'm single is what is causing all of this - because I haven't been in so long. He even said "Man, we have bad timing - guess I should get a divorce now!" He was joking I'm sure, he's always joking. I wouldn't want him to do that anyway. If they split up, they split up - but it won't be because of me. He's never made a serious indication about anything. Anyway - not like that matters - you guys are right - I should stop the contact - or limit it anyway. Part of me just doesn't want to - and I know about the kid and the wife, and I do have a conscience, ok...which is why I'm not acting on anything. But just because I have a conscience - it doesn't make the feelings go away.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): The best way is to get your friends, go out and meet new people! When you get new people in your life it is very easy to move on.. try it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): If you ever find out how to get someone out of your head, please let me know. In my case it is not a married man :-(
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female
reader, not confusious  +, writes (9 January 2010):
Sad but true...Pinktopaz sums it all up. Youve probably heard it all before - time heals. I too have been in that situation and the less contact i had, the easier it was to stop thinking bout him. but as soon as you make contact again, you go all gooey at the knees and your heart skips a thousand beats - so make sure its a long time b4 you have contact with him again :) good luck
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 January 2010):
It takes time, and that time has to consist of no contact.
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (9 January 2010):
 From my experience here's a list that worked for me when I was trying to get someone out of my head:
1) Minimize and do not initiate any contact
2) Stop daydreaming
3) Don't let your mind fly with thoughts, always be focus on something (except on him!), get a hobby, start reading an interesting book.
4) Flirt with other men
Of all 4, i think number (1) is the most efficient though. Best of luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): For the most part, you don't. Life sucks some times, and this is one of the situations it sucks. It's almost always impossible to stop having feelings for someone while still staying friends, and spending a lot of time with them.It took me nearly 2 months to squash my feelings for a girl that I liked that was my friend, but had a boyfriend. And that was 2 months where I barely talked to her, or texted her and I probably only met her once in person that whole time. I had been trying to get over her for like 5 or 6 months while we still talked and hung together a fair amount, but that only seemed to make things worse.That was my experience, yours might be different but I'm guessing you are either going to have to suppress your feelings for him when you hang together, or stop talking for a while so you can get over him. (Though I don't all your feelings for them ever truly go away completely)
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