A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do you end a relationship with a person who has made you her everything? I have fallen out of love with this woman, though we shared a number of years together and right now I fear she will commit suicide once she realizes what's happening. She has no friends, no family, she hates her job, I am all she lives for. I simply do not know how she is going to cope and I worry that she'll do something stupid that I will have to live with for the rest of my life and feel horrible about. Any advice?... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aye  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 let her no how u feel and dont be to harsh let her n hw u feel
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your advise. I will check out the books you recommended. I have always encouraged her to have friends, take up classes, pursue hobbies, but she just doesn't seem to do it. Just sort of content to revolve around me and wait for me to come home. I've always wanted her to be more independent and do her own thing, but it just never happens. She's a homebody when she's not working, doesn't really mix well with people in social gatherings because she's painfully shy. I think she has social anxiety disorder because she doesn't open up well to people either. Very set in her ways. It's been hard to see any growth out of her and the relationship, as you may have guessed has become quite stale. Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I feel much better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): With great difficulty...you probably allowed her to be too dependant on you. When the goings were good, you probably felt secure in that environment...now it seems that you have to 'baby' her. I suggest that you use a gradual approach, meaning that you need to make her realise through your responses of her other dilemma's that u not going to be around for always and that she needs to take a stand in her life. If you do care, which is obvious - you owe it to her to get her emotionally strong and emotionally independant. You need to find ways to inspire her and motivate her in terms of viewing life as a gift. I was in this situation once before, also was afraid of the guilt, anyways...I did make her realise that there was more to life than just the two of us. Used inspiring movies, bought her a book as gift on Life Changing aspects...got her energy levels up by exercising togther(did me well too)...started going out and introducing her to friends and friends of friends...made her start loving herself...When she reached a level of independance and emotional strength...we were able to have a mature and serious conversation and discussed going separate ways... The sad thing though, was that I felt somewhat attracted to her again after all the changes that was made, but I couldn't be selfish, had to end it. Two months after our split up she was with someone new and was so happy, it made me a little jealous yet pleased at the same time...that I cared enough to strengthen her weaknesses.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Wow, you're in a tough spot. But here's the thing - you allowed this to happen. Not trying to be harsh but if she's made you her world, there must have been plenty of opps leading up to this for you to say something and encourage her to have more of a life. Anyway, I just got thru a breakup and maybe this book will help your girl. It's A Breakup Not A Breakdown by Lisa Steadman. It helped me get over my ex when all I wanted to do was mope and cry and be pathetic.
...............................
|
