| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My question is why is it that some people gossip sooo much. I like the place I work but there are a group of people who spend a lot of the working day talking about this person and that person. Half the time the people they are talking about do not even know that they are being talked about. I do not like it. I have walked out of the room when they start and it just seems to be the same thing day after day. I have better things to do....I am completing a degree online and wonder if there is a connection between having goals and not gossiping. I have nothing against these people....I am just sick and tired of it. Why do they do it and is there a way to deal with it. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): people gossip because they hav no life basicaly! i have learned from a lot of experience that people miss understan your words, and use them against you!I have learned that people believe it so they can seem cool
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Hi love,
When people gossip about others I always think they are very insecure and jealous and somehow feel better.
You get people who spend there time gossiping about the famous, then theres the ones who just like to bitch about who is better than who and in my eyes its all wasted energy as we are all human and we all make mistakes and we all have to be with the same people at work at home and in social occations, And life would be so much nicer if people started speaking kind things about others and making them feel secure and happy then this world of ours would be a nicer place to be... I am not one for bitchy gossip its hurtfull and can do extreem damage to anothers lives.. But unfortunatly it isnt going to go away as some people thrive of others misery thats the sad thing about it, Its like some people have never grown up and are still at school. Be the strong one and walk away love there are others around who dont have time for closed minds, LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU TAKE CARE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Gossip is gloating, basically. They tear others down to feel superior. These are ugly, empty moments of personal glory for the gossip. I really think we all become something in life through our honest, caring efforts for others. I think people who gossip become basically 'nothing' by gloating about other people's pain and misfortunes. So if one is a gossip and talks behind someone's back, that he/she doesn't like, I have to say: Take no comfort in the suffering of your enemies..because if you do, it just speaks volumes about your own nothingness.
...............................
A
male
reader, Morteza  +, writes (17 July 2007):
I dont know why some people are gossip.
I like toknow this issue .please help me.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): Reading your comments has helped me to come to peace with the office gossip at my workplace. A few thoughts after reading your comments:
1) You don't go to work to gossip, you go to work - to work.
2) As long as the paycheck clears - I couldn't (or at least try to) care less about office politics and keep out of it as much as I can.
3) If you here them gossipping about you - they obviously think you're worth gossipping about!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2006): As informative as these answers so far are, I do not believe anyone has attempted to actually answer your original question.
I believe gossip happens for several primary reasons.
First, I think people feel validated by contributing gossip- as wierd as this sounds. We all want to be "in the know" about various categories. Athlets like to share information that no one else in the group knew. Politically minded people love to throw interesting facts about a political figure into the conversation, and so on. We all would like to be a person who can contribute something to a conversation that no one else was able to contribute. It makes us feel smart. It makes us feel powerful. It makes us the one in the know.
I believe some people treat gossip as valid, ego-fattening knowlege that they can share. "I know something the rest of you don't." Therefore, some people, I believe, find a genuine sense of affirmation by being the gossiper.
Secondly, I think some people relay gossip for reasons of personal gain. While this is the worst form of self-advancement, many think they can share harmful information about others for several reasons that might help themselves. Co-workers will share harmful information about others to demean them and hurt their credibility. This might come in helpful at promotion time. Others share gossip because it will tear down someone they dislike. It's pure hatred in this form, in my opinion. But, if you dislike someone, what's better than spreading around their worst secrets? Or, more likely, their worst nightmares, which may or may not be true.
Some have said that gossip is defined as false stories intended to cause harm to others. But, my definition, as described above, is slightly different. I think gossip may be false, but is also may be true. I think the defining characteristic of gossip isn't it's truthfulness, but it's motive. If the motive is to harm, incriminate, or to advance self at another's expense, then it's gossip, and it's wrong.
Come on people- lets EARN that credibility instead of stealing it from other's by such evil means!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): i hate people talking and gossiping about me and i cant do anything about it it is destroying my life as one of them is my 15 yr old daughter who does not know what she is saying
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): People with nothing else better to do will gossip about all of the wrong things. Lucky for you, it is office gossip.You can use this to further your career by paying attention to who is talking, who they are talking about and also paying attention to the content and the context. Gossip is like water, it can save a life or kill.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): It is unfortunate that people indulge in this frivolous "activity" and gossip is a good way to ruin someone's reputation/goodstanding.
The best way to not be a part of it is to avoid it. Too many people forget to say kind things about another and how you can re-train yourself to do this is by acting as if the person is present.
I am one that can not stand gossip (a malicious spirited pass of false or embelished information) and will quite often ask why are we talking about "x" like this? Or say "that isn't a nice thing to say about "x". I also will say I am not going to be a part of this gossip group and get up and walk away.
Do you really care if someone gets offended when you choose to do the right thing? Should we still worry about popularity when we are adults?
Eventually others will pick up on this and may adopt your attitude or at least, stop gossiping in your presence.
Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 Just do as you are doing and keep your distance whilst staying polite, honest and friendly. No-one can touch you for that!
Gossips do tend to form little 'cliques', and others know who they are. They lack credibility anyway as they are small-minded, and need to huddle together as a little 'gang' in order to pick on others - just like at school, they have'nt grown up!
Rise above it, it happens everywhere, and to different degrees, from the light-hearted banter to the worst kind, a form of bullying.
If you don't join in, chances are you are the subject of it at times too, it happens to us all, some time or other, and it usually stems from envy. Don't let it bother you!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): GOSSIP IS A PART OF THE EVERYDAY OFFICE LIFE I'M AFAIID. EVERYONE DOES IT, WEATHER YOU'RE A LISTENER OR AN ADDER. IT USUALLY STEMS FROM BOREDOM. HOWEVER, IN MY PLACE OF WORK IT HAS CAUSED MAJOR PROBLEMS AND HAS RESULTED IN PEOPLE BEING FIRED. KEEP OUT OF IT, BUT ALSO, DON'T EXPRESS HOW DISTASTEFUL YOU FIND IT, BECAUSE IF YOU DO YOU MAY FIND THAT YOU ARE THE SUBJECT OF THE BITCH FEST! BE CAREFUL!!!
...............................
|
