A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you actually date in this crazy world, when guys act so alloof and indifferent that all they want is a quick sex(my experience). I was in 7 year relationship, that ended. It was mutual, as we became so indifferent to each other that it made no sence to stay together. There was hardly any sex the past few years, and we are only in our early 30's.I am on a dating market again the past couple months and this my experience.I work in a small office whith few other women, so for me to meet someone it's either online dating or go out w/my girlfriends dancing or to a bar. I have no time for on-line interviewing, i know it's quite a job, plus going out and actually meet someone face to face is much more fun, i think. So, for the past couple months, this is what my friends and me do: we go out a lot.Here is what's happening: few guys within a few minutes of converstaion want to go to bed. Some exchange phone number with me and never call. Some start texting so late at night, its evidently a booty call. Some actually schedule dates with me and then forget about it. When I sit there waiting for a call just to clarify where to meet, and then text to ask what's going, i get an answer that 'so sorry but not today.'One day i felt very lonely, and since i didn't have any action going for quite a bit, i met someone at the bar, and told myself, o well, may be i can just have sex with this gorgeous guy that was flirting with me all night, knowing that it will be one night stand. Believe it or not that didn't happen also. We agreed that he would call me a few minutes later after i left the place and we'll meet. He never did. What a joke.Since i separated from my boyfriend i ve been on a date only twice. One was o.k., he didn't call me after that for 3 weeks. And then wanted me to come to his house. Another was a guy probably 6-7 years younger, who after that still texting me without actually going on a date again.It's a disaster. First i would get upset and was taking it a little personally, now i just laugh when it happens. What scares me though that i kind of started to expect this kind of behaviour from guys, and may be when something real will happen i 'd be very much surprised. If it ever will happen.So, what is your experience, girls? Guys can answer also from their point of view. What changed for the past years, what am i missing? I don't believe that me being 7 years older make a big difference.I am a pretty woman as i was 7 years ago, just a little older. There are plenty of single guys my age out there, who act like irresponsible teenager unfortunately. Thanks for your answers
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booty call, flirt, my ex, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 Well,if you go out shopping for shoes then you go into a bookstore, you can't complain they don't sell shoes,- you are just visiting the wrong place.If you are interested in starting a relationship, I guess bars and clubs can't be your best choice. Most men who go there won't be looking for the love of their life or even an LTR, they'll be looking for some casual, short term fun, or simply for killing some time somehow. Those are not the best places for conversations, so you'll have to rely mostly on the visual impact you make and even if you are gorgeous, often your looks are enough to catch attention but not to keep it. And in bar and clubs.. people drink, and often drink too much, and maybe the day after they 'll even forget they gave you their phone no. or asked you yours.Don't give up to your nights out with the girls if you are having fun- but if you are serious about meeting people, add other ways and venues.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (25 July 2010):
 If they dont call they didnt like you found some one else had some one allready or didnt think you liked them...To get honest ive asked for plenty of numbers and never call no particular reason... guess your mood changes from the time you ask and a few days later when it comes to calling... dating is alot of work... I tried it myself just because some one told me it was hard and i like a challenge and all. Ive called women and they never answer the phone.. i kno it was their number because i called it or txt them as soon as they give me the number and the phone rings. Also when you mean in a bar guys are drinking their currage is worked up so they may ask you for your number.. but when they're sobered up days later they might not be feeling you any more..
I think your better off dating online if your serious.. bars and clubs are old school... when people are drunk in a dark loud crowded environment you really cant expect much.
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