A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you come to terms with your sexuality? I have difficulty with this. Once I had a few too many beers and things went gone further than I would have liked with a guy that I had met and a girl friend of mine. Full sex wasn't involved. I feel enormously guilty and ashamed about this, should I feel this way? I am 19 years old and my friend is 17 years old. Am i right in thinking the girl can make her own decisions? I feel perverted and like I'm just an awful person. Please help.Marcia Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Hi Sorry to read of your troubled times. Sounds like the night was an eye-opener for you to say the least! Not been in this exact situation, but have been in situations that have surprised me.
Drink lowers your inhibitions, and can make you say and do things you wouldn't have thought of. Yes we all make our choices, and in a way you still do if you have had a drink or two. It's just that these choices are somewhat surprising.
I guess you have learnt a bit about your boundaries, and won't be in the same situation again as you have regret. Otherwise if there was no regret, you would know that next time....
Have you spoken to your friend, to clear the air at all?
A
male
reader, honeyross +, writes (29 June 2008):
 To me it sounds as if you've got no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. Sex is a completely normal and natural need that all people have and which is directed towards different people at sometimes unexpected times. You are right in saying that your younger friend made / can make her own decisions; there's no reason why you should feel you have to be responsible for her actions.
Maybe you're feeling bad because you were hoping that you could have had a more enjoyable, relaxed sexual experience. Sometimes things do go further than we intend with people - it happens to everyone and it's not perverted.
When you're ready, relaxed and comfortable with a sexual partner sex should be good but until then it's best just to avoid the circumstances which might lead to doing things you don't really want.
Don't be afraid of your sexual side (straight, bi, or gay). It's there to be enjoyed when you feel ready.
...............................
|
