A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you build self confidence and become positive about life and become successful in everything u do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): Anonymous. I am nearly three times your age and have two degrees, but I cannot say that I have been "successful" in everything I wanted or tried. I have failed at many things. I tormented myself for some time over my "failures". I finally realized, I have succeeded in more than I ever thought I would. I came from a rural area in the Midwest of the USA. My people were small farmers. Good ones. I was never in want of any necessities of life, and I had a wonderful childhood. Idyllic, actually. But I knew I was not going to be able to be successful as a farmer. Times were changing rapidly, and people like my family were a fading breed. It would take a lot more land and a lot more money to invest to survive as a farmer when I became "of age". My folks had to sell their property. They told me I must look to education and a profession. I did, but it was a rocky road. I started with an "inferiority complex" about academics. I had no confidence in myself. But I found that by hard and serious study ...and a lot of help from very good profs, "Hey, I can do this thing". You get confidence by gritting your teeth and going at it! That is all I can tell you. You know instinctively what your interests and talents are. I don't say you must go to college. Many friends from high school did not, and they could now buy me out ten times over. But that is not what it is about. You must find who you are and what you want to do with your life. Then get all the help you can. There are many who are willing to do just that. Your teachers, counselors, etc. And don't ever say to yourself, "I can't do this". You say, "I come from many generations of tough people who did the near impossible. I am here because of them. I can do this". Then, do it. Best wishes. Tom
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (7 April 2007):
The 3 things listed here, self confidence, positive view of life, and success, are all connected with one thing: your point of VIEW. The way you look at the world, at events, and at yourself. There is an important aspect of your point of view in that it is a CHOICE. You choose whether to like yourself, or not like yourself. You choose whether or not you look at the world as a good place or a bad place.You choose whether something you do was a success for you or not. Self confidence is when someone looks at you and tells you that you are worthless, or unattractive, or stupid, or incapable, or whatever, and your attitude is that they are entitled to their opinion, but that you have a different opinion. Who decides on our worth, or value, or capabilities, or attraciveness, etc? We do, if we choose to. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (7 April 2007):
 Well, first you get yourself elected as God.
Get real. NOBODY is successful at everything they do. Nobody.
Self confidence is built by first understanding yourself. Be honest about yourself to yourself. Don't beat yourself up, but take an honest appraisal of you. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Then start a firm program of making the strengths better and the weaknesses go away.
Are you awkward and afraid in some social situations? Build up a way (even if you have to memorize lines) that you can deal with other people under those situations, and then get yourself out of such a situation smoothly before anything comes unstuck. Practice. Convince yourself that you rightfully deserve the respect of yourself and of others.
One of the more charismatic leaders of the African-American community over the past few decades, Rev. Jesse Jackson, used to work with young people who had extremely low self esteem. These were people who had been told over and over again that they were worthless and that they were bound to fail in life. One of the first things he did was to get them chanting, together:
I AM (echo:I AM)
SOMEBODY! (echo:SOMEBODY!)
Over and over, until they could feel it right through their skin. Then he started with programs to build up their self esteem.
You've got to convince yourself that you are somebody worthy of respect by respecting and valuing yourself first, and then by taking a fearless and thorough inventory of your own inner self. Then you can start working on becoming the kind of positive, successful person that you want to be.
But even then, you will NEVER be 100% successful in everything. It's just not going to happen.
Good luck. And have a good time with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): eya mate you only get one life. get out there. enjoy it. have fun. ignore what other people say. self confidence is about you and so gain it all you have to do is love you for you!!!
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