A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you women do it all? I have highly stressful job. When I get home I am exhausted. I have no energy to do anything else but lay down on the coach and watch TV. My fiance lives with me and he is constantly pushing me to do more. He wants me to cook, clean, and take care of the house. Which I have been doing, but then I am so tired all the time. He also works a lot, he works about 60 or more hours a week and he is never home. I want to do more, I want to change; but how? I am planning our wedding by myself too, and I just want to sit in the Park and cry. I see so many women out there who do it all. they go to the gym, cook, work, study, read, and plan other things. How??? Can someone give me a hint?
View related questions:
fiance, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): What will you do if you make a family?slow down girl.....life goes pretty quick as it is..why miss your best years...pick a guitar up and relax, and remember to both re-join or you will loose it all before you even get married. Slow down, half of the rush in life is a sham anyway and amounts to nothing in the end.....what really does it achieve a healthy bank balance great quality home..furniture...clothes...and a body that is wrecked and shabby and spirit good for nout because it's too full of have to do's.You are losing touch with yourSELF and fitting in with earthy TIME instead of natures time in sync with you.Good luck.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 Those women either have help, prioritize or, more often than not, they are as desperate and burned out as you are but don't want to look like failures so they hide it. Ask yourself these questions. Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are women doing the divorcing? Why do married women have shorter life spans than single women? Have you heard of 'retired husband syndrome'? It's not an actual medical condition, but a term the Japanese medical community uses to explain the sudden high number of women reporting stress related ailments. Look it up.Working 60 hours a week tells us very little. For all we know he sits at a desk all day. What kind of work do you do?Let's look at this another way. Imagine you were the one working 60 hours a week and your fiance worked 40 and he was the one left at home alone to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and wedding planning. Would you feel guilty about that? Would you worry that others might think you were a lousy wife? What do you suppose he might have to say about that? Do you think he'd accept this arrangement or would he complain and insist you change your hours or change your job? Do you think he would go to the trouble of hiring a maid or would he leave that to you? You're being set up for a life time of servitude and failure and it won't stop at cooking and housework. Imagine having children to look after as well. Your fiance already works 60 hours a week so who do you suppose will be handling all of the midnight feedings, nocturnal bedwetting and nightmares? Which one of you will cancel their plans to stay home and tend a sick child? Will your fiance prepare the kids' lunch before school, or their bags before day care? Will he help them with their homework, attend parent teacher interviews and class trips? Nope...because he works 60 hours a week and he'll be too tired. And weekends won't be any easier because those will be his only days to rest. What days will you get?
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (31 January 2012):
 i agree with 12345, and confused , hire a maid service or divide the work. my wife and me we both work and we share , take turns , cooking, cleaning and so forth. days that we both work its order out , drive thru food. if you are working full time you need help with the house.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 January 2012):
 Have you thought about trying to divide housework? It's not the 50's anymore. If you both work, you should both do equal housework. Here's a good article on it.
http://www.uic.edu/orgs/cwluherstory/CWLUArchive/polhousework.html
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 January 2012):
 he's working and your working... can you hire a maid or cleaning service?
I cook a few times a week
I clean bare minimum
he does the trash
i wash the laundry he helps fold and put away
but i have to admit that at night when I get home from work I'm useless... a bit of yoga and exercise and i'm done...
does he help at all?
what goes on during the weekends?
have you ASKED him for help?
...............................
|
