A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How hard, or dissapointing is it for you women to go from a guy who is very well hung and mind blowing in bed to a guy who is just average in both the size and skill departments. Let's say that the well hung guy was great in bed, and you were only after the sex, but he was a bit of an insensitive jerk and didn't make you orgasm or tend to your needs...not a guy you'd fall in love with. The average guy is the man of your dreams, and is quite good in bed, makes you orgasm and he satisfies you completely, but just doesn't match the raw sexuality of the bigger guy. What goes on in a woman's mind with the whole size thing in this scenario? I'm dealing with a girl who I think compares me in her mind to a former lover, and I am not sure what to do. I have talked to her about it a bit, but I dont want to seem overly insecure. I am not really, because I know I am a good lover, but I dont know how women view former lovers who may have been better in some ways than their current one.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I believe a gorilla would indulge in what you call 'raw sexuality.' Does that make a gorilla an attractive sexual and life partner? Um, no. 'Nuff said.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I'm funny like that.. I shut the bedroom door, and I must be in charge. I take the responsibility of showing you what I expect of a good lover. If you fail or have problems, it's my fault and not yours. (unless you is selfish or bloody stupid)
If a person is ignorant or uneducated about love, you should help them learn. If they are willing to learn, it doesn't take much to make them the best lover in the world.
When they become the best lover in the world, you are both equal, they can show you what they've learned and you'll have too much pleasure to bother about who is in control.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): ...he was a bit of an insensitive jerk and didn't make you orgasm or tend to your needs.. That isn't my idea of mind blowing in bed.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Great question, but it's not fair to compare to your old flame to your new romance. There's one that sticks out in my mind, the biggest I've had was actually the best fuck I had, he knew what to do without me telling him and gave me an awesome orgasm. The only thing that lacked was he was 3 years younger so he lacked in maturity and it turned into nothing but a hook-up who called begging me for more. True, I enjoyed it but it just lacked that certain something. Passion. Fast forward 3 years and I meet my husband, who wasn't as big. However, he still knew how to use it and my god the passion was intense. Never ever compared the 2, because I was already sold on him.
I've also had the little guy too before the well endowed one, maybe 4 inches hard pencil dick. Not a loose girl by any means and my magic number was only 3 when I met this one..Needless to say I never knew when he put it in, he perspired on me so I was drenched, fumbled around with my clitoris, low and behold no orgasm with him. No it wasn't his first time but I'm guessing he went through a dry spell. But sex is just like riding a bike.
Anyways, to me not to all women size does matter. No we don't the boa constrictor, I'm happy with my husband's cucumber but by no means is a cocktail weenie acceptable. And I'll side a little with the majority vote you need to know how to use it. Does she often bring it up? Way to kill the mood. Sex isn't the most important factor in a relationship, but it is part of a healthy one. There's always room for improvement in that department..work together to find out what makes her tick to achieve that mind blowing orgasm, I'll tell you not every guy can give you one of those.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): The BEST and most beautiful and accurate reply to your question is mystiquek's ---she say's it all and more, keep this mind.
Jilly
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I have had one (out of 4 ) boyfriends who were exceptionally well "hung" and he was the worst of the lot in bed. He really thought he didn't have to put much effort into sex because of his size..
So... *shrug*
In general, I don't really compare men. Each of them I loved for more reasons then sex. Each of them had their own skill set. You as a partner adapt. Don't get me wrong - great sex is vital, but it's not the most important thing for me.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 September 2010):
 The man I love would not be considered the best lover if based on skills or size. To be honest, he's the smallest man I've ever been with, and totally sexually inexperienced (he had sex with only 1 woman before me..his wife and it was very infrequent). But do I adore him? Absolutely. Is he the best lover to me? Yes. Do I think of other men? Never. Why? Because he loves me, and he makes me so very very happy in the everyday kind things that he does. He treats me like a princess every single day. I am happy just to be with him, and I truly mean that. He makes my heart happy, and just to cuddle with him means the world to me. Maybe its because I'm older, but sex is sex. But someone who makes me smile and cares for me every day is far more important to me than how big he is or how skilled.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I had to smile reading your post : you can SO guess it's written by a man ,even without looking :)
What's so "great in bed " and so " sexually raw " about a well hung jerk that ( yawn ) can't make you orgasm and doesn't ever tend to your needs ?...
That's not great ! That's lousy sex ! I am surprised she did not show him the door after the second or third time !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): It doesn't matter how well hung a man is, if he doesn't make a woman, orgasm or tend to her needs then he is not great in bed, so that that out of your head straight away. Size has got nothing to do with how good a man is in bed. If you are meeting your girl friends needs then she will be happy.
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