A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi ya aunties and uncles----I'm at a cross roads.Over 20 years ago, I married my childhood sweetheart, and together we have children, one of whom is now in Heaven.For years I have been miserable in the marriage but stayed for the sake of our children and the mutual professional obligations that my husband and I share.A little over for years ago, I violated our marriage vows and became involved in an affair with a lesbian employee who was an indirect subordinate. For confidentiality purposes, I shall refer to her as "R.""R" knew I was married before pursuing me and throughout our affair. Along the way, I gained knowledge of some of the women who "R" was considering dating. One of the woman in particular, who I shall call "W" caught my attention and whom I later commenced frequent online dialogue with when I later discovered her on a dating network. "R" isn't privy to this situation."R" and I have since grown fond of one another, and have agreed to cohabitate in one of my residential property's. My husband is aware of my past affair with "R" and my current relationship with "W." "R" is not privy to relationship with "W."I am formally separated from my husband and living in my residential property. My husband is accepting of my relationship as I am accepting of his which will eliminate the possibility of our mutual professional obligation to our employer.The kicker is "W" is now my co-worker, although not an indirect or direct subordinate. She holds an upper-level position as my soon-to-be ex husband and myself. My concern is one employee knows about my and "W's" relationship. This could cost me my job which I've held for several years since I finalized "W's" hiring as Human Resource's Director. If "R" discovers my relationship with "W," there's the high possibility that she will react vindictively and alert our superiors resulting in our termination.How should "W" and I prevent this risk before it possibly occurs?All advice is welcomed. Thank you ahead of time.
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (11 January 2011):
 I'm a little confused. Are you living with "R" and seeing "W" or living with "W" and not wanting "R" to find out because you used to date her.
I would say, if at all possible, that you should find a job at a different company... that and just come out and tell whichever you are living with about your previous relationship with the other. Tell her it's over (which I'm assuming it is) with the other. If not, then you need to break it off - with the one you're not living with.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Am guessing if it is prohibited to date this woman with in the work place then there is not a lot you can do, but it sounds to me like it would be unfair dissmissal as there should be no reason for you not to be able to date who ever you like. In saying that if there is set rules that you shouldnt date this woman then you should have possibly thought about this more before you began dating her, am afraid the only advice i would have is to either stop dating her or else deny it if you are asked and try and keep your distance from her until things settle down.
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