A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Five years ago after my relationship with my child's father ended I met a wonderful, wonderful man who was just what I needed; he took care of my (then) very young child and I in every way imaginable. However, after 10 months together I ended the relationship because I felt I was still in love with the father of my child. It had been a very difficult and abusive relationship but I think that I was still 'addicted' to him.I weaned myself off the father of my child, grew up and got my head together. By which time the wonderful man had moved on and begun another relationship. This was three years ago.Then, we started to see a lot more of each other and we both admitted that we still had strong feelings for each other. He eventually ended his relationship and we began another relationship. Things were really serious; we planned to buy a house together and planned our future, possibly another child...His friendship group and family are a very close knit bunch and I really got the feeling that they didn't 'approve' of me as I had hurt him the first time around. We had planned to on a family holiday that Christmas, he bought the tickets and it was all systems go until until, one day at work I received an email from him telling me that it he thought it best if only my child and I went away and then refused to communicate any further. It was most unusual behaviour and I was left devastated.We have been in sporadic contact for the last two years until three months ago he phoned me out of the blue and asked if he could come and see me.He told me that he was getting married the following month, to the woman he had left for me! Confusing, I know. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to be happy for him, and told him I was, although I wasn't. We talked about our break up and he told me that he was scared that I'd end the relationship again, pulling the rug from under him again, so to speak. He told me that he had always loved me and had continued to think about me throughout his current relationship. He told me that he didn't really want to get married (he's divorced)but that his new partner had never been married before and that he was 'doing it for her'. After he left, I deleted his number and vowed that I should stay away from him.Three weeks ago he contacted me when I was out, by chance, very near his home. When I responded and said where I was he asked me to meet him for 'a quick drink'. Well, the quick drink turned into the whole night. We talked endlessly about our feelings and one thing lead to another. I am in love with him, and he me. He's not a cad or a player. We have been seeing each other ever since, trying to sort out this impossible situation. We are both intelligent, professional, middle class people old enough to know better. What do I do?
View related questions:
at work, christmas, divorce, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 I dont agree with him getting married for the other woman..Get married bc ur in love. I feel like he's toying with u, going back and forth he wants u but he doesnt, then he wants u again. Its not exactly healthy for u and ur child to be in this love predicament. So now he is divorced, correct? Making sure he is not having an affair..Ur 36-40 put ur foot down and tell this man what u want that ur sorry for the past but u cant change it, this is here this is now thats what ur more concerned about. Tell him u cant be yo-yoed around, he either wants to be with u or he doesnt. Simple as that. If he's not ready then he never will be cut those ties .
|
