A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and last year i was pregnat in feb 28th and i had a miscarrge at 11 weeks and im still upset about that but my baby would of been born november 21 09. well my boyfriend started talking to this girl and of course around my brithday i seen him with her. well she star ted alot of shit and he wastelling her to leave him alone. becase he didn't want to be with her well now all of a sudden she calls and tells him she pregnat. and now i dont know where i stand he wants to be with me but. im afaid of whats going to happen. i love him and he loves me and now we are not talking only a couple of times i dont know what to do he made a mistake and now instad of just him dealing with it its me to. tell me what to do please Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 July 2010):
You've been through far too much to be able to take this, I think. What if she is pregnant (you'll need proof of that)? What if he is the father to another woman's child after what you've been through (you'll need a DNA test for that)? What if he has to see the child? What happens when the child comes to your house? That is going to hurt you a lot, I think.
I'm sure you do love him. I'm sure you do. And I think him cheating was because of the miscarriage. But he has screwed up big time. At a time when you needed him, he was out on your birthday cheating. And he stood there and let that other woman shred you when she started.
You've been through too much, and I think perhaps you need to be alone, focusing on your own life and getting over all this pain. I think your boyfriend has behaved abysmally, even if it was because of the miscarriage, and I think it will get worse if you stay with him.
A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (22 July 2010):
 He cheated on you and made a girl pregnant. There is a chance this girl could have been screwing with someone else to though, make sure when the child is born your boyfriend has her get a maternity test. I think you should ask yourself if you really want to forgive a guy that cheated on you. When he was having sex with her he didn't care about you.
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A
female
reader, MichelleCrossing +, writes (22 July 2010):
Hi,
First off, I would seriously consider if this guy is who you thought he was. Yes, you have been together 4 years, but people change. Has he?
You suffered a miscarriage, he should have been there for you rather than being with another girl! I'm sorry about your loss, it must have been difficult for you!
The question didn't make it clear or not weither he slept with this other girl. If you do not know, ask him. Tell him you need the truth before you continue any further with the relationship. Perhaps she is pregnant, or maybe it's just lies to hold on to him. You won't know until you ask your boyfriend everything. The grimy details are going to hurt you, but its questions your mind & heart need answered for yous to have any chance off fixing this relationship.
Sit down, have a talk. Decide what yous both want. He needs to know how you feel. He needs to know what you want.
Remember sweetie, never settle for second best.
I hope everything goes well,
Michelle
x
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