A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:As most of them go, I met him online. He's a German intern only around until June and this works fine for me as I was not looking for anything too long term either. However, I have little knowledge of German, and only speak English and Xhosa. He is fluent enough in English to talk to and work here, yet he did admit it required lots of effort and talking slowely.This wasn't too much of a problem. We met and I was immediaely attracted to him and he told me he thought I was gorgeous. He works with kids, and so do I. He's compassionate, an introvert and I feel so at ease laughing with him. We seem to enjoy each other's company. So much so that our initial lunch date turned to a park cuddle date to a movie night/sleepover date to heavy make out sessions until this morning. I enjoyed my time with him, however, I worry because I'd really like for him to feel at ease with me. I don't want the language barrier to come between what we have currently. I felt like small issues would creep up every now and then; there'd be a few awkward silences, we'd both have difficulty explaining ourselves at times, he asked me if we could watch something that was not too complicated linguistically... I'm fine with his requests, I want him at ease, but I also don't want to ruin it by making him feel 'othered' or'childish' with my worrying.Am I overthinking this?How do we continue to enjoy ourselves despite the language obstacle? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Just remember that Nein means Nein and you'll be okay.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 April 2015):
 I third 'overthinking' things. If you both have a sense of humor and a willingness to relax and be still with each other, you'll be fine.
If you are anxious and a worrier by nature, of course, this might be very difficult for you to do. It sounds like he's already at ease with you, so why borrow worry?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Third vote for OVER THINKING it..
just let go and have fun.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Yes, you are way overthinking this .
The guy is only going to be there until July, and you share a knowledge of English that maybe is not enough to convey each other your depeest thoughts, or to debate philosophical issues, but so far is being functional and enjoyable for both- and, again , he is only around till July; that will do.
Little communication issues " creeping up " are to be expected and can be dealt with a smile , and a little sense of humour. As for silences- silences do not have to always be awkward- they may also be, and feel, intimate, companionable, and restful. When words aren't enough or don't come easy, there's body language , and the language of the eyes. That's what happens anyway even between same language people.
Plus, it's actually fun to have to resort to some ingenuity for communicating.
Just yesterday I was watching the communication efforts of a Chinese bartender with his Albanian client, both using ( poor ) Italian.
The client wanted some cold beer, and he used
( mispronounced ) the Italian word for " cold "- which the bartender mistook for the Italian word for " fried ", so he was rapidly offering , and seeing refused, anything fried he had around : doughnuts , chips, rice balls... out of desperation even pizza ( which is not fried ). Eventually, the client pointed to a beer bottle, pretended to drink it, and then to start visibly shivering and trembling. That was the "aha " moment for the Chinese guy who happily produced an ice cold Heineken . When there's a will there's a way :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Based on what you write here, I think you can communicate fine in English. For a two month connection, you are overthinking this. Just because someone has to make an effort to speak in a foreign language doesn't mean he is not enjoying time with you. Whenever you have an opportunity to get close to people from different countries there is a timeless, spaceless quality that makes you feel "the world is one" connection. With awkward silences you can just smile at each other, or touch him on the shoulder or knees.
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