A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while back I realized I had fallen in love with my best friend, and he was constantly on my mind. In november last year he started dating this girl at my school, but I could see that she wasn't really for him. He changed, and became two different people, the real him when he was with me and our fellow friends, and another one when he was with her. I never gave up on him when he was together with her, even though I felt awful for almost hoping it would end. One day he broke up with her, he told me he hadn't seen what she was like, that she was fake, and he did not seem very upset about their breakup at all. He went back to his old self, the laughing and funny person he is, and I was relieved. I had missed him. I kept on being in love with him, but I never had the guts to tell him, and at first I regretted it, a lot. Now though, I can't make myself regret it, I am almost relieved I kept quiet. I know he loves me, and cares about me a lot, but it seems it was never in the same way.The thing is, resently I found out he liked my sister. She had just gotten out of a relationship herself, and it all happened very quickly. I had my suspicions, and the waiting for something to happen was almost worse than finding out she liked him to. I actually caught them making out, so I was the first one to know. But when I had already seen it, they did not really bother hiding it anymore. They became a couple few days after. This time I am determined to forget about him. They seem happy together, and my sister is way much better than his ex. Of course it is painful, especially since she is after all my sister, and I see them all the time. When I don't see them, everything reminds me of him. How do I get over him, and go back to loving him the way I used to, as my best friend? Sorry for the long letter.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): You are human, and under the circumstances, it is normal for you to be hurt that he has chosen your sister and therefore the reminder is always in your face - not easy to deal with at all.
Don't expect to be so perfect and demand so much of yourself. This won't be easy because you have a heart that right now hurts. Allow yourself that and don't deny your feelings.
That said, know that tomorrow always brings hope, and your happiness with someone who will pick you, put you first, and look upon you as the most special female alive awaits you. So do your healing but don't waste too much time and miss opportunities to let happiness into your life.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 You're not gonna like my suggestion, but its the only thing I've ever found to work... distance yourself from him a bit. At least for a few months.
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