A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do Desis/Indians marry in arranged manner in US (or elsewhere) when the boy and girl, both are working in different states? This gets complicated when both want to continue their careers and given the tough economic conditions these days, its hard to even think leaving one's current job and travel to a different state and hunt for jobs. Also, who of the two would compromise given that its an arranged marriage scenario (and not love). There would be several eligible Indian boys and girls in US facing the same dilemma - how do they resolve this? I hope for positive serious responses. PS: Not everyone is fortunate enough to "fall in love" which would create a reason for the two to get together and in this, one of them (mostly the girl but not always) can choose to come to their spouse's city and search for jobs (and remain jobless for some time depending on the current job scenario in their area of work). This becomes very difficult in an arranged marriage case because there is no prior relationship between the boy and girl.PS: The boy and girl both should be able to continue their professional lives in one city after marriage. Both of them study well and there's no reason any one of them should be forced in any way to not pursue their careers especially due to the financial independence and support a job provides to both. Though Indians/Desis would be able to relate to this kind of scenario more than others, I would expect anyone with an out-of-box solution to reply. Please provide serious replies; I request you to not laugh over the matter or make fun to hurt someone's sentiments.If you don't know about arranged marriage - its done through matrimonial websites (before Internet, we used to have family members, friends and/or relatives help) much similar to dating websites in the US and elsewhere. The boy and girl get acquainted online through this site and have a formal dating with an intention to marry (doesn't include any other relationship)Thank you for your time. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 I am not Indian, in fact I don't even know what a Desi his, and a couple of Indian friends I had just fell in love and married whom they wanted just like anybody else, but just let me throw a wild guess :
I bet that 95 percent of the times is the wife who leaves her job and moves to another state. Why ?
Easy. Because for seeking or just only accepting an arranged marriage, you must be someone who adheres to the values of a traditional, patriarcal, male-dominated, or at least male-oriented culture. So, in this context, it makes perfect sense that is the woman that's supposed to give up her job, her friends, her habits and eradicate herself from her home place to go join a basically unknown husband.
Am I correct ?
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