A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a sophomore in college, and I share many classes with a girl I find attractive. I'm not into dating someone immediately, I prefer to have a friendship with them first, but the girl I like is very quiet. Whenever we have free time and other people are chatting, she's usually reading a book or just sitting by herself. She doesn't seem to have too many friends either. I've tried talking to her several times, but she always blushes a lot and never looks comfortable. I try to be as friendly as I can, but she still isn't receptive. I'm a naturally talkative guy and so are most of my friends, so I don't have any kind of experience with this. How do I befriend someone who is really, really shy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2016): Trying to start off as friends first with a girl is almost always a failing strategy. You don't need to be pushy and physical but you do need to make it clear that you find her attractive and you have a romantic interest.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 January 2016):
 Sounds like she lacks a lot of confidence, and finds it easier just to be in her own company. It can be hard to crack someone who is this quiet.
Start slowly, try get to know her, ask her what she likes to do, her hobbies and interests. Maybe ask her would she like to grab lunch together ect.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2016):
 Do you know her hobbies and interests? Do you share any of them? Because that could be an icebreaker.
It could also be that besides being shy she isn't interested. That might be why she brings a book so she doesn't HAVE to interact with others.
If you think it's "just" shyness, then go slow. If you see her sitting (no book) go talk to her, but try and find common ground, not.. being loud and boisterous. If she doesn't seem receptive, tell her I'll talk to you later, give her a smile and walk off.
You know the best way to get a horse (yes, I know she isn't a horse, but the point is the same) to be interested in you? You give them a little attention, share food and then you WALK away. OVER and OVER. Sooner or later they will start to look forward to your visits and even meet you halfway.
IF there is a coffee-shop nearby ask her if she wants a cup, or ask her what her favorite beverage is and then SHOW her (let's say it's hot chocolate) that you remembered by bringing one.
But if she really doesn't seem like she WANTS to talk, back a way a bit, just say hi and smile when you see her for a while, see what happens.
You can't MAKE her want to get to know you.
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