A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently me and my girlfriend broke up (both 20 years old). The past 2 months were stressful and pressuring on us, as we moved house twice over Christmas and new year. Since september, we've seen each other 24/7 (after being rendered jobless) and naturally took each others company for granted, arguing about petty things, not showing much affection, forgot how to have fun, etc.Now we've been apart, despite living in the same home, we have realized what we did wrong. We still love each other, and she misses me. But she is stubborn and confused, and isn't going to undo what's been done without some space. What can I do to reconnect, reconcile, and charm her back to me? I'm doing my best, but I feel like I'm lacking ideas and that my current polite approach to harmless affection isn't overwhelming enough to take her breath away. Please, ladies, help me out.
View related questions:
broke up, christmas Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am moving out at the end of the month, but she hate's and avoids talking about starting the relationship again, because I get emotional - and she feels hurt and guilty (she broke up with me, unplanned).
She has however said, "If there's a chance of us getting back together, it will happen naturally, on its own." I just don't really know how to amplify that. She doesn't believe in "making things work" - where as I do. She's run out of strength, and I have not.
I don't know how to make suggestions, or sit her down to talk about it when she'll automatically get defensive.
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (20 January 2012):
 ok, the first thing that popped out of this story is the fact you live together and spend all day with each other. As lovely as it is to you, and you're very lucky to be able to live together...this is suffocating and not healthy. I'm not saying don't live together, but maybe do things as individuals as well as as a couple. You go out on your own sometimes and the same for her too. It's not primary school so don't try and "win her back".That's not the right thing to do. Just talk to her and be honest. Get emotional if that's what you need to do. Tell her the situation and suggest things to make it like how it used to be.Make the effort to still go on dates, do different things, explore! Keeping it exciting is key!
...............................
A
female
reader, tortum  +, writes (20 January 2012):
As another female, I know that I would be thoroughly impressed if a man put the effort in to cook me a romantic meal (even if you can't cook! I don't think any woman could turn down ramen if the table was set with candles and roses). It may seem a little cliche and overdone, but little things like that show that you care, you don't have to make an extravagant gesture. Be you, because it's you who she fell in love with in the first place. If you are the confrontational type and you know you love her, and you know she still loves you, sit her down and tell her you think it's ridiculous that you aren't together when you obviously both still care. You don't have to get overly complicated or extravagant, like I said, be you :)
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (20 January 2012):
 i am not a lady , but i have been in your shoes before. at first i would let her know how you feel about her, not with just words but from deep down from your heart. tell her what she means to you, and what you have with each other. be honest and tell her you don't want to be without her. tell her that you love her, and their is no one else on the face of this earth you would rather be with. pour out your heart to her let her feel what you feel.
...............................
|
