A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I used to be unseparable. We used to go out all the time and do everything together. There was something else though, we were both in love with each other but we dared not to say anything to each other. I only know that he was in love with me because mutual friends told me and also told him about it. It was always a kind of 'will they, won't they' thing, like Lois and Clark some of our friends said. One night, we had gotten a bit drunk and we did end up having sex. This only happened once and we did not speak about it. Not long afterwards he started seeing someone, which broke my heart in two. I found out I was pregnant and that it had to be his because I hadn't slept with anyone else. I had an abortion and didn't tell anybody. He's almost married now and I want him back badly. Not only as my best friend but as my lover. I wish that I'd have said something to him earlier and I fear that it may be too late. I cry myself to sleep some nights. I don't want to break them apart but I need to know how he feels about me. Is it too late? Can I get him back?
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male
reader, Ralph_123  +, writes (29 April 2009):
Wow! I dont want to make you feel disheartened but as per you've written, the truth seems that you let the time pass by. This caused the problem. This is a very general mistake people do in a social relationship(of any type), they have things on their lips but just do not speak it up. Feelings are the most important part in a love relationship, but the love relationship should not be made completely relying upon the feelings. Expressing the feeling verbally is very essential to bring the relationship into a conscious thinking in minds of both persons. What you guys have done is just kept the feeling for each other and said nothing.
It really seems that your friendships was going very good, but the only thing to pity about in this friendship is that may be just you or maybe both tried to run away from the situation of verbally saying things to each other.
You must not do this in future with anyone. Try to speak things up, even though you feel so much. Do not fear of what will happen, if you speak up. There are only two things that can happen in love relationship -- 1. the one who initiates will either get a positive reply or 2. a "no". One should speak up and let the truth come out fast, otherwise the feelings either keeps us in a false hope or it keeps on hurting us.
Now that he is married, and myself being a male, i can tell you that he was not loving you (please do not cry on this, but this is the fact) Also, if he loved you than, he might have erased up that premature feeling because he might have got a better one (which he thinks more better for her) in paralled to your friendship.
Males are the organisms, who will never live a life against their will. That is if he might have loved you, he would have upturned the earth in order to marry you. And no one can change their decisions. If a male loves someone truly, he bluntly loves him, forever and if he plays then he completely plays around.
If a male loves a girl, then make him sleep with 100 other females, he will do it. But he will only marry the girl he loves. Why am I saying all this, is to make you clear up the male phsycology in love relationships. So that you can better understand how simply he married with the other girl.
Well, there remains very less hope (i know you'll be feeling like beating me up on giving all this negative repsonses, but believe me, all this will make you suffer less and understand the simple situation happened with you more)...so, again... as there remains very less hope, in your situations, still I would suggest you that you try to find out that whether he really loves the girl or he is just attracted to her sexually ( this may happed if she is more attractive than you). If this is the case then, there there can be a possibility that things may go the way you want. If he is into just an attraction phase with that gir, then he might have just not realised that he actually loves you. You'll have to make him realise all that, somehow, and handle the siutuation... this could bring the fruitful results.
At last if nothing works out and if you come to know that you're really not the one whom he should marry, the just remain her best friend. Because one thing is always true in Love, that if you love someone truly you always keep your love happy, so let him remain happy with his life and nature will help you in return for sure...someone....who will love you like you might have never expected...
A
female
reader, bellaaddison  +, writes (29 April 2009):
My heart actually aches for you on so many levels... the loss of a friend, a potential love and an unborn child. I sympathize with you and wish that I had some magical powers to bestow upon you so that you could go back in time and do it differently. Unfortunately, that won't happen. My only advice to you is to tell him how you feel about him (I don't know if I would include the pregnancy as that may cause him unnecessary pain and may alter the way he views you) but be honest about your feelings before he does marry. If you wait, it will most definately become more difficult for all involved. The absolute worse thing that can happen is that he does not reciprocate the feelings but then you have lost nothing more than what you don't have now... At least by sharing your feelings with him, you have a chance that something can come of it. And don't concern yourself with being responsible for his break up. HE is obligated to his girlfriend, not you... YOU are obligated to yourself. Don't wait until it's too late. Take a risk. You may find that he's been waiting for you too...
Much happiness xoxo
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Just tell him the honest truth in private see what he says and take it from there
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A
female
reader, delicatedevil +, writes (29 April 2009):
 well I think you have choices either confess to him that you love him and tell him about you being pregant or make him jealous and show him what he's missing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): You should have told him that you were pregnant,is the honest truth, not sure what good it'd do telling him now
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