A
female
age
,
*onthaveaclue
writes:My boyfriend says he loves me but he's not "in love with me." We've been together for four years. He knows that I AM in love with him but i can't tell him how i really feel. what should i do? and don't say "leave him" 'cause i won't. Please, what i'm asking is how can i make him be in love with me. i have known him for 36 years, grew up together, when i was a teenager just the thought of him made me wet and warm and fuzzy. he had another girlfriend then, and for the next 30 years we were almost best friends, but he AND I were always with other people. Neither one of us w/ other people anymore or for the last four years, just each other. Except for this pesky "in love with you" thing. OMG, what should I do?
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female
reader, donthaveaclue +, writes (5 July 2010):
donthaveaclue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your answers. It does make me feel better just knowing that I'm not the only one dealing with this. I will ask him if I'm the one he wants to spend his life with because, obvious as it seems, I have never asked and don't really, really know the answer. That will make a difference in how I feel/should be feeling about him. Thanks again!
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (5 July 2010):
 You can't do anything. My husband said that exact thing to me once he returned from the war. It was hard, but what matters is that he still loved me enough to be with me, and that I'm still in love with him. I just have to give it some time, and eventually, he will fall in love with me all over again. I try to feel happy for him, because falling in love is such a wonderful experience, and he gets to do it again one day. I just have to be my sweet, charming self.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): OK I feel the same way about my bf at the moment. I truly love him but am not in love. I've learned that this is just a compromise one should be willing to make. If he loves you, as more then a friend of course, and he is willing to be with you despite not having that "in love" feeling then you two should be OK. People USUALLY falls in love with one another in the beginning of the relationship. You are already 4 years into this relationship.
All you can really do is to show him how much you love him and that you can't live a day without him but DON'T pressure him to much. Give him his space. Ask him if you are the one he wants to spent the rest of his life with. If he says YES then you shouldn't worry about a thing :)
NightFairy
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