A
female
age
30-35,
*eighalanie
writes:Dear cupid, me and my boyfriend just got together on the 19th of june.his way older than me we are 4-5 years apart . It is illegal is my state .because i am under age but he promised me we wouldnt do anything until i finish school.highschool.but the other thing is my parents do not want me having a boyfriend until im older.so we only talk online but it makes me think ...our love will soon end .my 3 main questions are .is there a way going about this so its not illegal.is there a way that my parents will understand im in love ?and how can i make it so we stay together for awhile? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): Love CAN and DOES exist even at such an early age. But it is often mixed and altered by the heady haze of hormones.
I believe a person is emotionally and physically ready by around 16. However my thoughts are not law.
There is nothing illegal about dating anyone, whatever the age. The legality comes into play only is sexual acts are bought into the relationship.
So unless you two are having sex by any definition of the word, then you are committing no crime.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Wise Woman of the Forest  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Parents shouldn't be able to control your life and you would probably be better off dating someone your age, as they wouldn't be able to do anything in the line of suing, arresting or otherwise. As you are still only young and only chatting online, it is probably only infatuation and will pass within a year (I know, I've been there). Also, he will most likely not keep to his promise as he is over 18, probably horny and a guy and it takes a special kind of guy if he is able to.
A lot of my friends have been in these sorts of situations, but haven't let it interfere and let's face it, who's going to stop underage sex? It should be up to you whether you want to or not and as I said, you would probably be better off dating someone your own age. (:
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A
female
reader, cincinnatichocolate  +, writes (4 July 2010):
You are probably not in love, It may be just alot of lust. When I was your age I thought I was in love only for me to get older and realize that what I thought was love in the past was nowhere near love. Trust me, when you get older you will see. Listen to your parents right now, they are only trying to look out for you and keep you out of harms way physically and emotionally. If he really loves you and you really love him then you all will wait for eachother until you are 18. If you two choose not to, then it is not meant to be. Love takes time.You two have only been dating for less than a month I can bet that its more lust than love. When you are young it is very easy to mix the feeling lust with the feeling of love. You just know that you get this ooweey gooey feeling that makes you feel so good when you see him speak to him and etc. Just wait a few years you are too young.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): You're, what, 13, 14? There's no way you're in love, I'm sorry. I thought I love a guy when I was your age, and I was very much wrong. The relationship is very unhealthy and could get you in to trouble, and I suggest you get out of it before it changes you as a person. Take it from someone who knows firsthand. Also... If he loves you too, he wouldn't be putting you through something so stressful at your age. You have a life to live. Don't let it revolve around one person. Get out there and live for YOU.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Nothing would happen to you. But no kissing, touching on his part for sure. Then he could be charged.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Im not sure to be honest. I never understood the whole "parents wont allow me to have a boyfriend" thing. How did you meet your guy? Do you always have to be with your parents? Can't he come hang out with you and your other friends? Can't you say that he is your friend and nothing else? I believe your parents want you to not have a boyfriend because they are scared you will have sex, or that your grades might drop since you will be very focused on him and not school.. But as long as you keep your grades up and stay away from sex, can't you see him at the mall with friends for example? Or hang out other places like go play bowling or something? Do your parents have to know he is more than a friend?
I do not agree with underaged people having sex, and of course school is important, but it is a bit silly to think you can deny someone to fall in love. You have fallen in love, and it was bound to happen sooner or later. It is part of life. The problem now is how to keep the relationship alive without crossing the boundaries.
I suggest reading up on long-distance relationships, as this relationship might have a better chance of survival if you do the same as people in long-distance relationships do.
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A
female
reader, emilia_shayner +, writes (4 July 2010):
If you feel the need to do something with him to keep his love, then youre NOT in love. Well, let me rephrase that. U mite be but HE isnt. Also, my bf is 2 years older than me and we are in the same boat of it being illegal. We dont concern ourselves with it for the fact of the matter that we do love each other and dont care. Furthermore, if ur parents disapprove solely upon age, then respect wat theyre saying but continue to date him. However, if they dont like him bc of his personality or lifestyle choices, then maybe you shud reconsider.
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