A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been with a few partners so far, I use birth control and condoms and all that and get tested regularly and make sure my partners do the same. Almost every guy I've been with does a few things that I do not like, things that are almost a complete turn off. How do I go about telling them that I don't like it or it's not doing much for me without completely killing the mood? For example,the guys grab my breasts in their hands and start to kinda roll them or knead them up and down and around, and that's it. That really bugs me cuz it does nothing!! Lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, it worked!
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (5 January 2014):
Dear OP,
I know what you mean.. guys are often clueless, or they just do what their ex liked. What I found helpful: If I like something, I tell the guy, or I make approving "sounds"..I encourage him to do it more. That way he learns what I like and gets some confidence in what he's doing. If he does something that I don't like, at first I just try to change it without talking. For instance, I would take that guy's hand away, gently, and put it somewhere else. And if that doesn't work, I try saying things like "Can you be a little more slow/fast..." etc., maybe even demonstrate it to him with my own hands. And if that doesn't work, I simply say.. "I don't like that, please stop".
Guys aren't mind readers. But a good guy will try to please you. Give him a chance to do so, by making clear what you want. Don't hope he will magically find out by himself, he won't. If a guy won't listen to what you say and continue to do something you don't like, that's a warning signal and it tells you the guy isn't worth wasting your time. You can then just get up and leave, as DoubleM suggests.
And my special advice: Never fake pleasure! Never fake an orgasm. If you fake it, you directly mislead a man to continue doing things you don't like or find boring.
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A
female
reader, ellebelle  +, writes (5 January 2014):
 You need to be vocal, that's it! Give instruction, say 'up a bit' or 'rub my nipples' or 'less hard' or whatever you want. I've never had a guy mind that and my current boyfriend says he likes it because then he knows that he's definitely doing what I want.
And when they do something you do like, give feedback, say 'that's amazing' or 'yes, right there' ... use your imagination!
Men are not mind readers, and they've got influenced by porn and their friends and OTHER girls that maybe liked stuff you don't... they won't know unless you tell them!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 January 2014):
 Say "No !!" , , , Or "Stop it !!" And then, if necessary, get up and leave.
You are, and must always be, in charge of what you will or will not do!
Or what anyone may do with you. Remember this always . . .
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