A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:elloo aunties n uncles... i just need some advice regarding a recent relationship...i got together with my partner around 2months ago (offically) after being in a so called "open relationship" for 8months... he kept claiming that he wasnt ready, however i recently found out that the reason why he didnt want to commit was coz he was in a 5year relationship with someone else, thus i was the another women... however we got past that and he assured me that i was the one he wanted to be with thus finishing with his now ex...to be honest its all been going great... however his ex isnt leaving him alone, she keeps calling him and txting him continuosly even he hates it... i told him to tell her that hes moved on and stuf but he says he doesnt want to hurt her as they were together were 5years he doesnt want her to think that hes moved on in so little time... worst of all recently hes been talking to her and they have been doing things together its not like he hides it from me but i really dont like the idea of them still staying in touch espically coz its only been 3months since they finished and the fact that she still has feelings for him... i dont mind as im not the jelous or possesive type but i think its just to soon for them to stay friends, i wouldnt mind them being friends but i know that theres still feelings from her side... so how do i tell my partner this without him thinking im the jelous or possesive or dominating type??? HELPP
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): I think that you should not rush things here you both are young...and it sounds as if he is not ready to let his ex go...if he was and if he really hated the fact that she continously calls and texts, then he would tell her to leave him alone...its good that you are not possesive but you have to let him know that you do not want them communicating because that will only bring about old feelings and he may go back her. I suggest that you leave this guy alone until he is ready to let go of his ex....I know you may like him but if he really liked you he will come back..and he will be completly free of his ex...and can fully commit himself to you. Until then you will only be hurting yourself and can only blame you if he goes back to her.
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