A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello,right here is my problem recently my mum has started seeing this bloke. he is so lovely when he is around her, but what she doesnt no is when he stops over he comes into my room at night after she has gone to bed and does things that arnt right. i am old enough to know that where is touching me is wrong but how can i confront my mom as she wouldnt believe me. he is so false and he always when ever my mum is around trys to play fight and touch me.so my question is why is he touching me when all he says is how much he loves my momand should i tell her and how Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 September 2008):
If you do not have a lock on your door buy a door wedge and jam it under at night so he cannot get in.
You really have to trust that your mum will believe you when you tell her that he is doing this.
You are her child and she is always going to pick you over some man, remember that he is hurting her too by using her to get to you.
I'm so sorry he's targeted you and your mum like this.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, tina888 +, writes (11 September 2008):
this is very worrying because if you are 18 you will know this behaviour is wrong. I would suggest your mother knows you are innocent and a little naive. You should tell her. If you have a good relationship with your mum and you are close, she will listen, I am sure
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): He's a liar. The only reason he is with your mom is because he sees it as a way to get to you. tell your mom. Waffling like you are now only encourages him. If your mom won't believe you or do anything about it, move out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): I have empathy with you and hope you can have this sorted out very quickly. "Lazyguy" gave you excellent advice.
Do you have a key for your bedroom door? Then lock your door! If you don't have a key, this might be a good opportunity to talk to your mom; ask her for a bedroom key; she will want to know why; tell her you need your privacy and feel this guy is invading on your privacy when he.....and then you tell her your story.
Be strong and take good care of yourself.
Remember we are here for you, you are not alone.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x +, writes (11 September 2008):
 No matter what you think your mum will say, she'll ALWAYS take your word over that of her new boyfriend's.
If she doesn't believe you, when you hear him walking across the hallway or up the stairs, begin recording it on your phone and stop the recording when he leaves, sit her down and make her listen to it.
Also, I think you should go to the police, he shouldn't be doing it. You know it's wrong, but you're afraid to act, don't be, stand up to him or he'll keep doing it. Tell the police and tell your mother too. Nail him for what he's been doing to you. x
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (11 September 2008):
 o baby! i am so sorry you are going through this! no one should have to. This man is a monster. You need to sit your mum down and have an honest chat... maybe start off by not saying names, you could try: "mum, there is something thats been bothering me a lot, but i am embarrased to say.... but i really need to talk to you about it. There is this guy who has been touching me.. iknow its wrong but i cant seem to stopit. I really need your support right now...." and carry on. it is best to be frank and honest. I made the mistake of telling my mum during a row, and as you could guess, she didnt believe me. If she doesnt believe you, is there anywhere else you could stay for a while... im sure what you say will put some doubts in her mind, and if you stay at a fiends house for a week or so, then she may have time to think about it and have words.... alternatively you could sit down, and be more firm. Say if she doesnt do something, then you will have no option but to go to the police.
keep me updated, and i hope things go ok for you.
best of luck
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 September 2008):
 He should not be in your room, end of story. That alone is a serious breach of your privacy and should be enough to alert your mother. Neither should he be touchy with a teenage girl.
The guy sounds dangerous, you got to protect yourself.
Is there any way you can leave the house? Stay with relatives, friends?
If your mother won't see the truth what about your father?
You can always go to the police, what he is doing is a crime even if you are older then 18. You can always ask social services to have you placed outside the house.
You should tell her but if she doesn't listen and take immidiate and drastic action (stopping him from ever being close to you again) then you really should seek to protect yourself first. He is a molestor and they do NOT get better or stop on their own.
Talk to her, but I would advice you also seek aid with your local goverment social services, a doctor, child support or the police. Doesn't really matter as any of them will refer you to the right place for your situation.
This situatin is not uncommon, it is known that some predators deliberately seek out women with childeren to then prey on their childeren. Sadly a lot of single mothers are so desperate for male companionship they close their eyes to what is going on.
The reason he says he loves her is because saying to a woman that you hate her guts and can't stand the sight of her is a bad way to get her to fall for your charms. It is a confidence trick. He wants something from her, you.
You got to protect yourself first and foremost and it might be that you cannot count on your mother to be on your side.
Hope you manage to get him out of your life.
(A practical tip, a lot of digital camera's can be setup to capture pictures on a time lapse setup. A webcam also works wonderful in this way, it would give you real hard evidence. if you decice to go that way do NOT show it to your mother, but bring it straight to the police. Do not confront him with it either.)
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