A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last week me and my boyfriend got into this huge,huge argument and he moved back home wednesday of last week in the beginning i kept bugging him because iwas really depressed then i went to a friends house to talk about the situation that weekend i went out with her and the sunday i went and saw him he told me i had things to work on so when i got home i wrote them down to try and deal with these situations as it stand now he still wants me to give him his space he has talked to me over the phone a couple times this week but as of yesterday he said that he didn't have much time on his phone and i said ok i will call you friday is this too much on my part ??
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 September 2008):
You you haven't spoken in what? 3 days?
I really think 3 days is not a long time.
Let him call you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Dear Poster
You might not like it; but I am giving you my honest opinion, not to upset you but to try and help you to get perspective on the situation.
YES, I do believe you should relax; give the guy "space" and time; he will not realize how much he is missing you or even miss you if you keep calling him; You do want him to come back don't you? Then I suggest you take it easy; stop calling all the time and yes, go out with friends and visit friends; keep yourself busy with other things; maybe do a big spring clean of your cupboards; re arrange the furniture; avoid calling and contacting him.
Let him call you, let him contact you; he must be worried about you, and want to be with you!
Stop being so needy and insecure; vow, yes, I know it sounds harsh, but you need to look at those issues; work on it; it will always have an effect on your relationship,this one or any other in the future; I suggest you make a list of why you feel insecure, why must you hear from him so much? What is wrong? Don't you trust him; do you feel lonely without him? You are scaring him away with this kind of behaviour; you are smothering him!
There are many different ways you can try to overcome these insecurities, but for now; I suggest you use this time on your own to do some introspection about your own behavior and the affect it has on your present relationship; try and find solutions to your negative "behavior" and ways to improve yourself and your self confidence. I might be wrong, but I do think you have a lot of FEAR; if that is the situation, try and get to the bottom of your "fears"; often people act out there fear without realizing it; a typical example will be "Scared of loosing him"; scared of getting hurt; scared of being cheated on; scared to be alone; this great insecurity and then you act needy and become "clingy".
I know this is a difficult time for you; but try and take advantage of this time to rediscover yourself and to improve your life; Hopefully this guy will realize the change in you and will miss you and want to be with you again.
Give him space and start taking care of YOU. Visualize yourself as a little girl, give that little girl a hug and tell her how much you love her and will take care of her. Be kind and loving to to your "innerchild"; value yourself enough and if this guy is "into" you he will come running back; if things does not work out between the two of you; you at least had this opportunity to pamper your inner needs and work and deal with your fears and insecurities and will be more equipped for a future relationship.
I hope this is of assistance to you, and I honestly do not want to hurt you or upset you; I am merely trying to help you to help yourself.
Keep us updated.
You are great but you can be even Better! You are welcome to private message me.
My best wishes; lots of hugs and try to keep SMILING.
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