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How do I tell my locked up boyfriend that I am pregnant?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi

i really need some help..i'm pregnant, yes i kno 14 and pregnant..it's a huge deal please don't preach me about it..my family is just starting to accept the fact that i am and it's been 4 months since i've told them..but that's got nothing to do with what i need help with..i got pregnant the day my boyfriend got locked up..i kno that sounds pretty bad too and it sucks..big time! he has been gone for almost 6 months now..we write letters back and forth to each other but i haven't been able to tell him i'm pregnant yet..i could just say it in the letter but i don't kno how i should mention it..i'm not gonna stay with him just for the sake of the baby i will break up with him if needed..how do i tell him..?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthopefully the baby coming will spur him on to do his community service and clean up his act... he's young enough that he can get the record sealed as a juvenile.

Stay with your family and be consistent.... for the baby the consistency is critical... let the daddy's family come see you and the baby at YOUR home....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

Don't you visit him? Just tell him straight he has to find out sooner or later. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he isn't 18 i wouldn't have been with him of he was..he is 14 so no he isn't in for statutory rape..he doesn't like it at home so he just kinda took off..and he was on probation so it was a violation of his probation..i kno he sounds like a horrible person but he has been through a lot of shit (excuse my language) he might not be the best influence but i don't wanna keep the baby away from him..i come from a home with no father and it can be hard..he got to call me today so i chose to tell him while we where on the phone..he sounded really happy..after he had calmed down a bit he did question and was like well it is mine right..i told him it was because it is and we just talked..after we got off the phone his p.o called me and said there's a chance he will be getting out in a month or so if he gets his next 10 hrs of community service done..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

Just write it, or tell his mum and get her to do it for you. Tell him it straight, it's the best way in the long run.

P.s. Congratulations!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he is 14 almost 15..he was just being dumb and ran away from home..he isn't in for statutory rape our parents didn't even kno we were having sex till i sat them down and told them i was pregnant..i am keeping the baby..his mom and my mom said they would help...i live in both houses sometimes i'll stay with his family and sometimes i'll stay with mine it just depends..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011):

Sorry pressed add before I had finished : ) I wanted to add I hope you have support from your family and also that you remember how hard it is for them to see their little girl now pregnant. It is a lot for a parent to go through, they imagined they would see you go to prom, graduate, go to uni, marry then maybe have children but now it's all fast forwarded!

Best of luck hun, I hope your bf will support you and be there for you whether you stay together as a couple or not. You and you baby deserve that x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011):

Hello

I know this must be so hard, but the longer you leave this the harder it will be for him to accept. He may also doubt that it is his child so be prepared for that in case he says it but stay strong and know that you know he is the father.

I think you need to just write and tell him. Just say hello and that you have some big news that you hope he can be excited about and you hope it gives him something to look forward to while he is still away. Then just say that you fell pregnant the last time you were together. Let him know that you understand this might be a shock and tell him you are sorry you didn't say sooner but you were worried. You could say that you were waiting until you knew that baby was growing safely until you broke the news.

I hope you have the support from your family

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou do not need to know if you are staying with him or not but you do need to make sure he knows he's going to be a father... and soon.

more than likely you will not stay with him as you get older and mature.

I'm going to assume he is over 18 and I hope and pray he's not in jail for statatory rape of you... (because that's what he did sweetie and if you were my kid that's why he would be in jail)

how can you be close enough to have sex with someone and not close enough to talk about things like being pregnant by him?

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