A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello all!Call me "S" please!I tried typing this up once but it got lost by mistake so I'll make this a bit more condensed and can elaborate if you have questions about anything.I bought myself a prostate massager toy with a wireless remote. I've always been interested in anal play but I've also always been really shameful and kind of afraid. However, I decided to take a leap, and I'm glad I did because this was a great choice.Now, the problem.I've always feigned being against anal play, mostly because I felt incredibly ashamed before. So my girlfriend thinks I don't like it. She hasn't ever said one way or the other, she just says she wouldn't do it to me with her fingers. I've never mentioned toys before.We have a great relationship and a healthy sex life. That said, we're very vanilla. We don't do a lot of stuff. We have used a vibrating cock ring before (which I bought by mistake, it was included in a box of condoms) but that died.So how do I bring this up to my girlfriend? I'd like her to be a part of it, but I wouldn't make her if she doesn't want to. Thanks in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2020): If you have been In a relationship for a long time and you trust each other then I don’t see the issue with bringing it up with her. It depends how open you guys are about talking about that sort of thing.I’d talk to her and try to gauge her feelings on it. Don’t rush out and tell her you’ve bought this thing right away. If she’s receptive to the idea then you could bring it up. I am a woman and I brought it up to my boyfriend because I’d heard it felt good for guys. I didn’t think it was anything to be ashamed of. I like to know about my partners preferences regardless if i could take part in it or not. Personally, I wouldn’t want him keeping anything from me, so that I felt like I was doing anything I could. I wouldn’t want him to feel like he had to hide any part of himself from me. I certainly wouldn’t feel like I was competing with a toy.Obviously that’s just my opinion and every couple is different.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2020): Keep it to yourself. You're one sex-toy away from a big-ole dildo, my friend. Then what? Gay porn, a strap-on for your girlfriend? Just messing with you!
If you told her, she'd likely be suspicious.
If sex is "vanilla" by your lady's choosing; best you keep your kinky side-activities involving that kind of sex-toy to yourself. I'm a gay-man. That kind of gadget is more popular with my team! If she can't mutually benefit from the toy; she'd feel like she's competing with it. It's not really something you'd share, considering where you put it!
If you're using something like that, it should have a flared wide base; so it won't get lodged up where the sun don't shine. You might be humiliated explaining what happened at the emergency room. Be sure to sterilize it after use!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 March 2020):
 Lots of men of all sexualities enjoy prostate stimulation, as it’s similar to a woman’s g-spot. It is a shame that there’s often stigma about it, though.
If you have a healthy sex life, that means you’re able to discuss sex too. Maybe look online for toys together and, when you see the one you have, ask her if she’d try that on you and find a toy she’d like to try too. Vibrators are generally a big hit with women both for solo and sex with a partner, but she if there’s one she wants to give a go.
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