A
female
age
36-40,
*udie
writes: i dated this guy for 3yrs, we broke up 2yrs ago but we were still friends. we've both moved on and are dating other people but yesterday he calls me to tell me he still loves me. he was my first love so i'll always love him but i cant go back. all we ever did was hurt each other but he promised that things will be different coz he doesnt want to go through life without me. i dont want to hurt him yet i cant risk gettin hurt again. how do i tell him no without losing him completely as a friend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): I don't know. If he has professed his love for you it might be too much for him to just sit by as a friend and watch you date other men and such. Especially now that he has just told you straight out. You have to accept that you may lose him as a friend if you say no. But then, you may not. It's just the way it is.
I would consider carefully your own emotions in this. Is your love for him more than you are admitting to yourself? Why is it so important that he remain a friend to you? Because you want him in your life... Just as he wants you in his?
Just food for thought.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): There's no way of controlling his reaction I'm afraid, but you do have to be honest. Honesty is the best chance you have at remaining friends with him, even if it isn't what he wants to hear, there is no point in leading to believe any longer that there might be a chance for you two to get back together.
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