A
female
age
,
*ustwantpeace
writes:I have been in a relationship now for just over 3 years. I am 44 and my partner is 49. It has been suggested to me (and i've wondered) that he is gay. How would i know, being heterosexual and knowing nothing about gay men, if he really was gay trying to convince me, and the world, that he was heterosexual. What kinds of behaviours would i see? what could his past look like? Would the fact that he wants me to have sex with his 'best' friend and he watch, then he wants to be able to be with me right after, and be the last one mean anything? What does it mean the fact that he wants to hang out with this guy all the time, that he'll defend this guy over me, but at the same time, can't keep his eyes off women's boobs, and can't seem to get enough sex... loves it, and can handle it as many times a day as i want.... i'm confused...
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female
reader, justwantpeace +, writes (7 November 2007):
justwantpeace is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI REALLY appreciate your responses...(annonymous female and dapone-1). I love so much about my partner, but i always have a feeling of mistrust with him and i don't know if it's because of the (Ibelive..) Fact.. that he's bi, and won't admit it, or if he's actually up to something behind my back. I also have a history of 'sick' men, my ex-husband being the worst. He was (is) an exhibitionist. He went through drive-thoughs, entertained the girls, then took off. 2 x per day at least! He finally got caught and i knew deep down inside that it was true when i VERY first heard it. I stayed with him for awhile longer, ended up getting preg again, and stayed a bit longer, then couldn't stay any longer. He was charged and found guilty when it finally went to trial. He went to counselling and he did the bare minimum. Now that i'm away from him, i don't know if i'm projecting MY issues onto my new partner, except he seems very secretive, and i am very open. I'm playing it VERY cool with him right now, which he doesn't like, but it's working for me. Thanks so much for your input. I'm sure he's not gay. But he certainly might be bi! (even if he just fantasizes)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): it doesn't sound to me like your boyfriend is gay at all, but there is really no way to tell, I know alot of straight men who have simular sexual thoughts about watching. If your boyfriend was having gay sex with his boyfriend, I doubt that he would be enviting you to join in. I would proceed with caution, any relationship that you'd like to continue having should stay between two people, unless you are both very secure, (which your not, or you wouldn't be asking this question), then adding a third person into your bedroom always leads to problems. I'd say that your boyfriend is a sex hound and everything probably goes in his book, but that has nothing to do with being gay, that's just the sex hormones gone wild, and if it feels good do it kind of attitude. Good luck
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Hello.
I have only worked with 2 gay people and they have never shown any attraction towards woman in any way, shape, or form, so i think you are on the wrong track thinking this because you have a sexual relationship on a regular basis, some men have a fetish which involves watching their female partner have sex with another man, but because i am not of the same mind my response would be, if you are not in anyway happy doing this act then it would be up to you to refuse to get involved.
I can understand your reaction, but cannot understand why he should put his friendship above you, he may be a bisexual male, who enjoys the company of men and woman, you really need find out if he and friend are in a relationship.
The problem of sharing yourself with another person in your relationship is the aftermath which may cause you to have feelings of guilt after the event.
It is really up to you how far you wish to go with this relationship, but you may end up regretting the fact that you were ever involved in this situation.
Hope this will help.
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