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How do I tell him that enough is enough?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2014)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi and thanks,

I am confused about my relationship status because my bf breaks up ALOT and on Monday he said technically we're friends. I questioned him but as usual he was being cold to me.

We were off and on for over 2 yrs, in this time I found him to be like Jeckyl and Hyde. One minute hes loving next minute hes cold and accusatory. He thinks I cheat constantly. He thinks if I don't text backright away that I'm with a man. He makes me send pictures as proof of my whereabouts. On Monday I couldn't because I left to work early he flipped and named called all day and of course said I was with a man because I couldn't send him a picture from home. I asked him to apologize but he didn't. The word sorry isn't in his vocabulary to me. I have a fb that Im rarely on and when I go on he says its because I need to chat with my harem. I tell him your on fb daily making statuses yet accusing me of chatting with males. Grow up. He then resorts to name calling. He can be out of contact for hrs and I don't say anything yet if I am its because he thinks I'm out with a guy.

He's gpsed me, he used to have my fb password and email account but I never had his. He was on a dating site my gf is on and seen his picture. I confronted him and his response was,"oh well you said you were going out so I decided to go on a dating site. I couldn't believe the response he gave. Then I asked him who did you talk about and date off there? Of course he replied,"no one". I somehow feel hes accusing me so much because hes the one guilty. Of course hes denied it. He also has a female friend who's an ex and defends her over me. Tells me hes protective of her and hangs out with her. If I ever did that he'd flip.

I've grown tired of his ways and double standards and I don't need to be his doormat. How do I tell him once and for all to just go on with his life because I've had enough?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (25 June 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't see that you'd need a particular " how ". " I have had enough, go on with your life ,buzz off " sounds perfect to me . Short, clear and to the point.

If it wasn't for the fact that if he is so easy to fly off the handle and become verbally abusive. I would not put past him at all to also turn into physically abusive. Maybe you can give him his walking papers in public and in the presence of a male friend or relative of yours.

If you want to avoid possible scenes and roes, tough, you have my permisssion to use the "cowardly" way out and text him or e-mail him the same message .

After which, though, you MUST follow immediately all Honeypie's suggestions and do exactly what she says.

It's true, this is all on you now.

(Btw, I think you are correct, he is probably a cheater. Generally people who are so exceedingly jealous , are so because they know how very easy it is for them to be tempted, to stray, to lie and to cover up their tracks without any remorse, and they are projecting on their patners what THEY capable of doing and what they'd do in the partner's place ).

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntHow do tell him it's enough?

YOU CUT him out of your life 100%. YOU block his number (or get a new number) you CHANGE your password and then block & remove him from any social sites.

AND YOU DO NOT talk to him any more.

He does this to you because YOU allow it. YOU stick around for more and more of his crap.

HE will NOT change, not for YOU not for anyone.

STOP expecting HIM to HELP you move on, it's ALL on you now. DO it for you.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntHave you posted a similar post on here before?

Any man who treats you like that should be dumped asap and you should never have anything to do with this guy ever again.

Why do you put up with this controlling, dictatorship? To have you GPS tagged, demand photos of your whereabouts...my god that's sick!

You have asked us this before haven't you? Tell him to take a hike and shut him out of your life.

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