A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm head over heels in love with one of my friends. It all started a little over a year ago at a mutual friends birthday party. We were both drunk and ended up making out. Ever since that night it kind of just became a thing. When we were both out together drunk we would hookup. It was all innocent fun in the beginning until one day it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I loved everything about him and I just wanted him for my own. Although he's typically not the type of guy I go for, there's just something about him that intrigues me, and even though I see him every weekend I still get butterflies every time. I guess it's true what they say, that once you meet the "right" person things change. I'm not the type of individual that likes to show my feelings and I don't do well with commitments but I feel like if it meant to change my ways to have him I would in a heartbeat. Now here I am about a year later so confused that I had to turn to an advice website for answers. It's literally become something that's eating away at me. He does show interest but sometimes it's kind of mixed signals I don't even know what to think I really want to tell him how I feel but I'm scared I'm scared of rejection and I'm scared of looking stupid if he doesn't feel the same way it's to the point that I'm constantly thinking of him and us and what we could be. I really don't know what to do with this whole situation. It makes me sad sometimes because there's nothing I want more in the world than to tell him how much I care about him but its kind of discouraging. Does anyone have any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016): Don't rush into anything.
Pick up the book called "A Fine Romance" by Judith SIlls.
Read it, then decide what to do.
Good luck,,,
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 February 2016):
What a terrible situation for you to be in. I can completely understand why you would be scared. We are all scared of getting rejected. But the fear you have is standing in the way of you being happy. At the moment you are not happy with this set up, and I wouldn't be either because you don't know where you stand.
You said you are really good friends with this guy, and sometimes he goes hot and cold. You need to talk to him. Ask him what it is that is happening between you both? Tell him you have feelings for him. Yes it will be scary. But he is your friend, and the kindest thing you can do is be honest with him and yourself.
If you keep going on having no strings attached fun, you are going to fall deeper and deeper until you end up really hurt. You need to be honest now and ask him. He might even feel the same and then you will get your happy ending. You need to take a chance.
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