A
female
age
30-35,
*aj-babyx
writes:iv been living with my fiance of two years and all we seem to do is make up and break up. iv had enough of it.when i decided to move back in with my mum he broke up with me. then he wanted me back and said he will move in the area that am living just to be with me but the thing is i want to get on with my life since am only 18. hes not doing anything with his life and it feels like hes dragging me down with him.and i just want to end it with him but i know hes gona try and get me back. how do i tell him i dont want him anymore with him harming himself and emotonally blackmailing me?
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (26 April 2009):
 If he's blackmailing you then it sounds a bit like he's an attention seeker or he's milking it. I had an ex who was like this, he made everything about him. Break ties with him and explain that you both need to get on with your lives without each other. If he's as bad as you say he is then maybe he should see a counsellor =]
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 April 2009):
 If your BF is self-harming as your post suggests then he needs specialist treatment. People who are suffering from significant psychological disorders can be extremely manipulative and emotionally dependent on those around them. In many instances they don't actually know the burden they become to other people and it will take treatment for this young man to sort himself out. By breaking up and making up you are sending him the wrong signals. He thinks that he can emotionally blackmail you this way and it has been an effective strategy. You are back with your family now and hopefully feeling stronger. You don't wish to be with him and actually breaking up may prompt him to seek treatment to help re-start his life. No-one could expect you to cope with him or stay in an unhappy relationship at your age. Go out, have fun and build yourself a life. I suggest you write him a letter explaining that you want a new start without him around. If you think he will start the emotional stuff again, just stop receiving his calls. He may well try to come to see you but you must remain firm and not back down to him. This is for his own good, as much as yours. Without you around as his helper then perhaps he will seek the treatment he needs.
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A
male
reader, uncle111  +, writes (26 April 2009):
just say you moved on and that you still want to me friends with him so he dont do some thing stupid
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