A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes my boyfriend can be, in my opinion, very insensitive about my feelings. When i try to organize something fun and he sees a negative side about the idea he will voice his opinion without giving thought that i may have put alot of effort into the plans and that he might want to be a bit sensitive about how he answers. How do i explain this to him without us getting into a huge fight about whether or not I have the right to be upset about it or not? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 There are two ways you can deal with this type of person.
1) You learn to take it in your stride.
After all , you cannot expect a cup full from someone who is only half full.
2) You can teach him a lesson and he will learn for life.
You can mirror back his actions when he does some thing.
Then he would realized how hurtful it is when he gave those insensitive and critical remarks.
The reason he is acting that way is because boys are born
that way and they need to learn diplomacy and appreciate the
efforts of the fairer sex.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Have to say that in my opinion you are trying to bend over backwards and if is that ungrateful and unfeeling why are you with him?
If you are the person who is always trying to organise things then what is HE actually contributing to the relationship.
Every relationship should be 50/50, alright this is not always the case due to maybe one person working longer hours than the other but when it comes to your personal time together it should be doing things you both enjoy. Sounds to me that there is an incompatibility here.
Start to think about what you are getting out of this relationship right now as he seems to be a controller and that is never a good sign, why should you walk around on egg shells, you are young and more than capable of having a new relationship with someone who is on the same wavelength as you. However, what I would say is don't always be the person to do everything as like in your current situation, it can always be left up to you and that means the other person is taking you for granted and also never happy when you do things for him. Learn from your mistakes in this relationship and let someone else be the one to take the lead.
Wish you luck.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 You have a right to be upset about whatever you want to be upset about. If he cannot see this and you are constantly trying to accomodate his feelings(making sure he doesn't argue with you about what you have a right to be upset about), but he is not trying to accomodate yours, you need to find someone else.
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