A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy that I couldnt imagine being without, but I do have an issue. We both have different views on what exactly we want. You see, we talk EVERY day, multiple times a day, but there are times I want to talk less and have alone time or do other things. We have gotten in countless fights about this because I dont find it important to talk to each other as much as he wants. Sometimes I feel like he is just crowding me and controlling me by practically demanding we talk that much, and that sometimes pushes me away a little. That would be the last thing I would want though. I want this long distance relationship to work, I just want him to back off a little bit and show him that I do still love him and care about him so much. So here comes the question. Since I have been looking for help on how to do that I found this site and came across some Q and A's that helped a little to reassure me that my feelings of him crowding me were normal and that I'm not a witch. It hasn't really showed me though how exactly to break it to him without starting another endless fight. I dont want him to know that I was looking for help online because I think that may only upset him more that I'm believeing what all you guys are (hopefully) saying.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): hi i can honestly say i know exactly how you feel. i met my boyfriend over the internet and we are in a long distance relationship. i have managed to get the texting and calls down to every other day now, but sometimes there is still a hiccup. i'm not sure if he tries to wind me up occasionally but if he texts and i don't reply within half an hour he has a strop, i just let it wash over me now. i got round the constant texting and calls thing by making myself busy with friends and everyday things, and saying in a light hearted way that i don't want to crowd him out and i wont have anything to talk about if we text all day. i hope things work out for you, take care
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Yes it can be overwhelming, just tell him you need some space from the relationship for a while.
If he loves you he will wait, if he gets into an argument about it then hes not worth worrying over anyway.
When you go back and start communicating, make yourself less available. If he contacts you, dont respond other than once every other day.
You initiate contact with him too, dont let him contact you all the time. Its all about getting a good balance here.
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