A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok so i got together with this girl and i like her a lot but her family has a problem with. the thing is her aunt and my uncle got married about 3 years ago. but the thing is me and her have know each other for about 7 of 8 years now.we have been together for about 6 months now and she is starting to think that it is a bad idea that we got together. i don't think that there is anything wrong with us dating.now i know that i am the first girl that she has ever been with and her mom is not happy that she is dating a girl. and for more than 1 reason.and she is having a baby by her ex. and i am fine with that i have always wanted kids but that is one of the reason her mom doesn't want us together. plus i'm 4 years older then she is. but i don;t thing that that is a problem. i think that the reason she is having problems with us being together now is that her or should i say our family is having so many problems with it.i want to know how i can tell her that everything that we are doing is ok and that we are not doing anything wrong. if anyone can help me i would be really thankful.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 To start with trying to show her that you care about her and that IF she cares about you in the same way, that you are not doing anything wrong is far from emotional blackmail or anything similar. Having a baby is a big event in anyones life and this maybe one of the reason that she is concerned and although i do not agree with them i can see why her family maybe concerned, it shows that they care about her and hopefully if you stay together in time they will be able to see that you are not bad for her, infact the oppisite you are a good source of support for her.About talikng to her you need to explain to her how you feel for her and ask her if she feels the same way, if you does you need to support her and explain to her that you are not in the wrong and help her when people put pressure on her. =]
A
male
reader, slackhack +, writes (12 March 2010):
If she really needs convincing you should take a break until she knows what she really wants and who she is.
I don't think you can convince her with out emotionaly manipulating her which, to be honest, you almost certainly are now even if you don't mean to.
A young woman who has just had a baby who's father is no longer around is naturaly going to be inclined to feel strongly towards anyone who is there for her emotionaly, physicaly, financialy, etc. For her sense of herself to change (to decide she's homosexual/bi) after such a major event in her life is obviously going to be of great concern to her family and friends.
Peace
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