A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my girlfriend for over a year now. we've been friends for several years, and just started to get serious. she and her family are madly in love with me. but now i feel like that we were better off as friends. we have done it all and shared so many experiences. i just dont know what to do. so the question still remains.how do i tell her that we should just be friends? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Hi, there is no easy way out of this, I'm afraid. You're going to have to 'man up' so to speak, and let her know that you want to be just friends. Obviously, do this with as much gentleness as you can muster up, but be firm. Do not leave her with the hope that you'll change your mind, if you're certain this is the right thing.
She may indeed be angry with you and not want to be friends; this is normal and she may get over the break up and manage that transition. Or she may not. Don't try to force it on her, let her decide how she wants to deal with this break up. I think that a common complaint by people who have been dumped is not knowing WHY it happened, so be very clear, try not to be mean, but give her the concrete reasons why.
I have to tell you that you are doing her no favors by keeping her from meeting another guy who will want to be with her, and the longer you postpone this, the more difficult it will be, as you will get woven into her and her family's lives. Prepare to be disliked by her family for dumping her. There's no good way around that, they will definitely support her and won't understand how you could leave such a great girl, from their perspective. So don't get invested in preserving that relationship with the family. And remember that she gets to determine the amount of contact she wants with you after you have the 'talk', don't force her to stay in contact with you.
Breaking up is all part of life's learning experiences, and you will survive, as will she. Here's an article on this topic that may give some insight.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
Good luck with this. Let us know how it goes.
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