A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I love my girlfriend more than anything! (We've been together a year.) She says she had a "bad experience" while back, and hates giving oral. I didn't really mind. She does, however, LOVE for me to give her oral. As of late, she wants me to give her oral, but doesn't even want sex. So, I give her oral, then we are done.. I don't want to press the issue to her because I don't want to upset her. I feel like is it unfair, but mainly I kind of feel used when she does this. I love pleasuring her, but she hates doing anything like that to me because of her past. She also acts like she is going to (like teasing me) then just stops. I honestly don't know. I love her, and I don't care about sex, but I don't want to feel like she is just taking advantage of me being to nice. I will never break up with her over something like this, but I have no idea how to tell her how I feel?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHer "experience" was being blackmailed into giving oral. This is all she really said about the subject. She isn't afraid of doing it or the "taste" per say, but she just doesn't like doing it? This is all she has told me. I have never brought it up directly yet, however, I have gently hinted at my discomfort. Either she is ignoring these hints, or isn't paying attention...
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (6 April 2009):
 I can see how that would be very frustrating. As much as you like pleasing her it can be difficult to be giving in that sense when the other person does not seem as enthusiastic about returning the favour!You can discuss it with her, before things get sexual - it might seem like pressure if you bring it up mid foreplay. Bring it up in a tactful, gentle way.I'm not sure how severe her bad experience may be, if it's something traumatic maybe she should speak to a professional about it? If it's something a little more day-to-day like not liking the taste of someones cum (for example) then it's something that you can try work through, try and negotiate.Find out a little more about the bad experience and see how you can turn it around for her? Things like diet, or body chocolate could be used to make it more appealing for her?As for not wanting sex, maybe she's going through extra stress in her life? I think the best tactic is to discuss it and see what the middle ground is.
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