A
female
age
30-35,
*yiDai
writes:Its a long story... I met my boyfriend over a chat site on my phone [via bigpond]. After a few days we got together. It was a long, looong distance relationship. I live in the Darling Downs of Queensland and he lived in Hobart, Tasmania. We talked on the phone EVERYDAY for the next 4 months [we've been together for 7 and a half months]. My parents didnt like him because they said he was emotionally manipulative and abusive...Anyway, after about 4months of being together, he sold is xBox 360 to move up to my town to be with me, organising to stay at a close friend of mines. He came up, moved in, payed rent and did everything he was suppose to. After a while we began having fights, and he'd always turn it around to make it my fault even when it's entirely his. Then, because I am under the custody of Family Services til I'm 18, we discovered I cannot move to Tasmania til I'm 18. We were planning on moving there when I finished school in the next couple of weeks. So, already being accepted, I applied to University 2 hours away in Toowoomba at USQ. We made plans to move to Toowoomba in our own place. But when we couldnt find one, my mum applied me to an Aboriginal indigenous hostel. The cheap rent pays for a furnished dorm room with food supplied and free transport to the university and back. The only thing is my partner cant live with me. I have come to the conclusion that I will give him the options of staying where he is and continue the relationship with me, move to his own place in Toowoomba and continue the relationship or move back to Tasmania and stay with me. But knowing his emotional capacity, his violent mood swings [violent as in large, not as in violence] and his attatchment, he wont pick any. I havent told him yet and I'm running out of time.My question that I need advice for is - How do I tell him that I am moving without him?? How do I tell him he either picks one of the options or its over?? What is the best way to do this??!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 October 2009):
I would think carefully whether you want this to continue. You say he has violent (large) moodswings. That's not a good sign. I actually think you would be better ending it and focusing on university and yourself. However, if you don't want to end it (And I really do think you should), then you just hae to sit him down and gie him the ultimatum. There's nothing else you can do. Good luck.
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